


Pt. 1: All the Pain of Yesterday

by Artemis_Neardos



Series: Tell the World [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: AU, CC-2224 | Cody Has Issues, CC-2224 | Cody Needs a Hug, Clone Trooper Culture (Star Wars), Clone dynamics, Cody is TOP bean, Do not steal or post elsewhere, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Comfort, I fixed it...kinda, I only post on this site, It's gonna hurt, Kote - Freeform, M/M, Mando'a Language (Star Wars), Mentioned suicide, Multi, Nightmares, No Beta We Die Like Clones, OCAlphaARCMedicBones, On Gods Cody we gonna get you some therapy, Panic Attacks, Post-Order 66 (Star Wars), Suicidal Thoughts, The clones are sweat beans, Timeline What Timeline, Vode, clone culture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:07:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 27,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29097033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Neardos/pseuds/Artemis_Neardos
Summary: “Commander Cody. The time has come. Execute Order 66.”For a heartbeat, Cody feels excruciating panic, a pain like nothing he’s ever known before. For a heartbeat, he realizes. For a heartbeat, he fights. For a heartbeat, he wants to scream, but then-He always thought there would be more time. That there would be a time after the war when his people could be free and find their own place to belong. He always thought that there would be a better time than in the middle of a war to accept and express his own feelings. Instead, Cody has to pick up the pieces of himself and try to regain a worthiness he never felt he deserved in the first place. He is Cody, Kote, of the Vode, and he will always be whatever his people need him to be. It’s nothing but snapshots in time, before and during the war. After everything falls apart, the real story begins.
Relationships: 212th Attack Battalion & Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody & CC-3636 | Wolffe, CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CC-2224 | Cody & Clone Troopers, CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody/CT-7567 | Rex, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Series: Tell the World [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2134830
Comments: 26
Kudos: 139





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Read the tags! Things could be triggering; you have been warned. I tried my best with the Mando’a translations.

“Gar cuyir kovid, Kote.” (“You are strong, Kote.”)

An older clone has come to check on him apparently. 

Kote doesn't feel strong. His head hurts from too many flash modules in too short of a time span and his body hurts from having his sheb handed to him by several of the trainers. He’s curled up in a dark corner of an empty bunk room hoping to get swallowed up or to become one with the durasteel walls around him. _Hells, everything hurts._ It's his own fault he got the kirf beat out of him really. He shouldn't have stood up against the long necks to keep a younger cadet from getting dragged off. He had to though. Kote couldn't not stand up for the crying and scared brother that had tried clinging to others to keep from getting taken away, all because there was something different about him. It had made Kote sick with anger and he’d thrown himself between the cadet and the long necks, feeling a feral sort of protectiveness. This vod (brother/sibling) wasn't getting taken away. There was nothing wrong with him other than he looked a little different than the rest of them. He didn't deserve to get decommissioned just for looking different.

 _Probably shouldn't have thrown that punch at the trainers though_ , Kote thinks as one of his ribs protests sharply when he breathes in a bit too deep. He sniffles, trying to force back a new well of tears threatening to start up. The brother that the long necks had been trying to take away had been given a chance to prove himself. The long necks and trainers would watch him extra close, but at least he was alive. Their irritation at having a cadet stand up to them had been taken out of Kote’s hide as the trainers beat him for his insolence. 

_Worth it._

“It's going to be ok, Kote. Just stay strong”, says the older brother that came to check on him.

Kote is too out of it to begin trying to figure out who found him hiding and crying his pride out. He doesn’t even have the strength to feel ashamed and hope that it wasn’t one of the Alpha group.

“Stay strong to prove them wrong. Stay strong to protect your brothers.”

The older vod doesn't coddle or comfort him any more than that, but Kote can tell that he stays for a little longer before going back to whatever it was he was doing before. When the headache and pain subsides enough that Kote feels like he’s well enough to move without breaking down again, he stands to head back to join his batchmates. Every part of his body hurts, but his ori’vod (big brother/older sibling) is right. He has to be strong, for himself and his brothers. They have to survive. Kote will prove to the galaxy how strong the Vode are. (vode=brothers/sibling plural in Mando’a; Vode=how the clones refer to themselves as a people)

Later Kote learns that it was not an older vod that had come to poke him back into existence, but Jango Fett. Their template, their originator. Kote feels a little sick at having singled himself out and possibly been seen so weak by the older man. He's a little freaked out that Fett had even bothered with him.

\---

The trainers and Kaminoans eventually call him Cody, a more average, basic, bastardized version of the name he chose for himself. Kote, the Mando’a word for glory, becomes something even more special for Cody than just being a name. He is Kote of the Vode, for the Vode. He allows himself to become Cody for everyone else. Cody loves his brothers and truly believes that each and every one of them is special and strong. If there is nothing else to have faith in, he has faith in his brothers and the Vode as a people. He stands up for vode that are different from what the Kaminoans are trying to make them and he encourages others to do the same. Brothers, younger and older, treat Cody with an odd sort of respect and admiration that he’s never quite sure what to do with. He keeps his head held high and treats them all as fairly as he can. When fights or disagreements break out between groups, Cody is not above jumping into the fray and knocking heads to get everyone back on the same page. There's no reason to fight one another. They are stronger together and together they will survive.

As time on Kamino trudges on, Cody grows and learns. It feels like the trainers and Kaminoans are constantly singling him out for something. Each time he’s pushed harder, beaten and tortured worse, Cody does his best to become stronger. For some terrifying reason, that Cody never learns, Jango Fett takes an interest in him and Cody finds himself that much more under scrutiny. Training under Jango, along with his regular training with the rest of his batch, eventually becomes just another part of Cody’s everyday life on Kamino. Jango is, and isn’t, many things. He has opinions that end up influencing some of Cody’s own, but he also has opinions and says some things that Cody whole-heartedly disagrees with. One thing that Cody takes away from Jango’s teachings that was not really necessary, was to look after his brothers. The Vode'An (brothers all) mentality wasn’t something that was purposefully built into them or taught. They were clones and that meant that they were all the same, no one different, or more, or less, than another. They were clones made to be an army for the Jedi and that meant that they were all disposable and yet necessary to fight in the upcoming war. It meant that there was no need for attachment to each other, no need for them to be individuals or have any emotion beyond doing their jobs. That is not how it ended up being. Away from the calculating looks and watchful gazes of the Kaminoans, the Vode whispered names to replace the numbers that they had originally been given, the older looked after and taught the young, and when a brother was huddled and crying another would be there to comfort him. The Vode look after one another and keep each other alive.

One thing that Jango says within his attempts at teaching the clones that Cody’s not so sure of, is that they can't ever trust the Jetiise (Jedi plural) and that the Force users are just as fallible as any other being in the galaxy. That contradicts what the Kaminoans say and teach, which is that the Jedi are masterful and glorious, to be worshiped by the Vode. What results from the opposing teachings is a varied amount of skepticism and curiosity in most of the Vode. All Cody really ends up caring about is if the Jedi will treat his brothers cruelly or not. _Certainly not_ , Cody imagines, _if the Jedi want their soldiers in top fighting condition_. Certainly not, if the Jedi are all like the first one that ends up coming for them. Looking up at the soaking wet Jedi from where Cody’s eating in the mess hall, the Jedi looks soft almost. Soft and kind, beautiful, even from a distance. Even soaking wet as he is, the Jedi seems to exude a kind of lethal gentleness that is a contradiction in and of itself. Rex, one of his closest and most special vod, makes fun of him later for talking about the Jetti (Jedi) so much. For weeks after, Cody dreams of auburn hair and piercing blue eyes.

\---

The battle on Geonosis kicks off the war and Cody is irked that he’s not there with the first wave of clones. Instead he’s stuck on Kamino finishing up training drills. He wants to be there with the frontlines as they encounter the Jedi for the first time. He wants to be there to help show how strong the Vode are. From what he hears, though, the troopers do their jobs well and prove themselves capable and competent. The success over shadows the number of fatalities only slightly. The brothers still on Kamino share a moment of mourning and silence for those that have fallen, as well as a cheer and a toast for those that survived for a first fight well won.

Cody is deployed from Kamino before Rex and that chaffs and claws at something inside him, but he knows Rex is strong and will take care of himself well enough. They spend Cody’s last night on Kamino together and come the next morning when it’s time to leave, they both have a hard time controlling their tears. Still, he knows they will be ok; they're both strong and their bond powerful. Cody and his battalion are loaded up with most of the second wave, and they all share a quiet sort of excitement. Finally off that sodden planet. Finally going to get to fight and put their training to use. They have a job to do, that they have trained to do, and they will do it well. Cody is proud of his brothers and he and his men are loaded onto transport ships to Coruscant, where they will be officially given to their Jedi Generals.

\---

He’s not entirely sure what to think of Master Jedi, General Obi-Wan Kenobi at first. He recognizes the man from when the Jedi came to them on Kamino, but seeing him from a distance in the mess hall is entirely different from the blinded sort of feeling Cody has when he meets the Jedi face to face.

“What’s your name, Commander?”, the General asks as Cody salutes him. 

Cody’s not sure if this is a test, but he is determined to pass either way, to make a good first impression.

“CC-2224, sir”, he says, still holding the salute.

The Generals face tightens and Cody worries that he’s managed to kark it up already.

“It’s alright to give me your actual name, if you have one”, says the Jedi gently, “We are going to be working very closely, Commander, and I’d like to know you as the individual you are. Not just the number you were given”.

Cody is shocked enough that he drops the salute. Rex would give him hell for it if he found out.

“Cody, sir.”

The smile he receives is disarmingly charming and kind. Bright and luminous. Cody can't imagine Jango being right about the Jedi. At least not this one. He briefly thinks he could give his Mando’a name and wonders if the Jedi would still smile at him that way. The thought shocks him. Kote is for the Vode. Cody is for any non-vode that cares to ask. Commander is for everyone else. He hates his numbers enough he hopes he never has to use them again.

“Hello there, Commander Cody. I look forward to working with you. Let’s go meet our men, shall we.”

Cody falls into step with his General as they head to formally meet the rest of the men. Something inside him warms in an odd way that leaves him slightly breathless. It feels like something big.

\---

General Kenobi is good to work with. He’s a good warrior. He’s a good man. He is full of surprises and takes the time to learn the clones' names. At first Cody and his men try to tell him not to worry about keeping track of them all, but the General just gets that tight look on his face and promises he will remember them. 

They're on their way to a core planet to take care of a Separatist contingent that is trying to lay roots of descension. Cody’s looking over the layout of the potential battlefield, trying to work out the options for attack. So far he’s at 5 possible scenarios that will work, 3 that will get them all killed. He dismisses those three and focuses on the most viable of the 5. General Kenobi steps onto the bridge and all of the troops snap to attention and salute. When the General waves them off they all get back to work. Cody is beyond thankful that he doesn't have to explain strategy to Kenobi. In fact, he's pleasantly surprised when the Jedi agrees with his plausible 5 and then suggests a 6th option that is actually a combination of 2 different ideas, one of which is from the going-to-kill-us-all pile. It’s a tad risky.

“Nothing worthwhile comes without a bit of risk, Commander”, General Kenobi says with a grin.

When the plan goes off without a hitch and the battle has been won, the men celebrate their first true victory. When they pull General Kenobi into the festivities he admits to not wanting to get in their way with his presence as a commanding officer. The men laugh and pull the Jedi further into their makeshift party room. Seeing his brothers successful and smiling warms something in Cody. He thinks that risky is worth it, if it gets them this. 

\---

 _This is insane_ , Cody thinks as he stands next to his General across the holotable from Rex and General Skywalker. Cody will never consider Kenobi reckless or his plans risky ever again, not compared to Skywalker. He wonders how much internal screaming Rex did the first few times he had to work with General Skywalker. Cody is happy for his vod’ika (little sibling/term of endearment) though. Rex looks stronger and more confident than ever before. It's so good to see him this way, not the shaken cadet that Cody fought tooth and nail to keep from getting decommissioned simply because he was different all those years ago.

“Anakin, I am not so sure about this plan. It’s a bit more risk than is really necessary here”, General Kenobi says. 

He sounds like a tired father trying to explain something to his wayward child.

“Oh, come on, Master. What’s life without a bit of risk?”, replies the younger general with a hearty grin.

Cody has a moment of resigned _Oh Force, there’s two of them_. 

By the time that feeling passes he's crouching next to Rex behind cover, waiting for General Skywalker to throw a bomb from the top of a building into a line of Separatist tanks.

The plan goes well enough. 

“Next time, you're gonna be the one to get Force thrown halfway across the field,” Rex growls as he, Cody, and other vode stand around after the battle. 

Cody’s looking through a datapad report on updates of munitions. This is a brief lull in fighting until they get the go ahead to advance and the Generals tell them to take some down time while they have it. Cody finds it funny that Rex gets Force thrown at Sepies often enough to have already developed a complex. 

“No way”, Waxer grins as he leans against Boil, “You look much better flying with all the grace of a newborn loth-bat than I would.” 

Several vode snicker at the overly scandalized face Rex makes. 

“You gonna let them talk like that, Kote?” Rex asks, mock offended, turning to him.

Cody grins a pointed smirk up from his datapad and can tell Rex regrets bringing him into this.

“Don’t worry Rex’ika, you make a very cute loth-bat. Though certainly not as graceful as a newborn.” (‘-’ika’= little or used as an endearment; ‘Rex’ika’=Cody’s pet name for Rex)

Rex throws a playful punch at him that he dodges easily, which has Rex bumping into Kix, who shoves him into Waxer and Boil, who start making horrible impressions of loth-bat noises as they paw dramatically over Rex’s armor. Cody chuckles along with his vode. They get a few more minutes of playfully teasing Rex before the Generals are calling them back to formation. It’s time to advance. 

Later, a recording from a troopers bucket of Rex getting Force thrown ends up being spliced with loth-bat noises and sent around the 501st and 212th. It makes Cody’s day for weeks. Rex threatens bodily harm on the person responsible. Cody sends it to Wolffe.

\---

The 212 has met up briefly with General Windu’s battalion. It’s a quick trade of supplies and rearranging of some heavy artillery between the two Jedi cruisers. Cody is happy to see his fellow Commander, Ponds. They had been decent enough friends back on Kamino and Ponds has a fantastic work ethic. Cody is happy to see that Ponds has kept his men up to the same standards they all had back on Kamino. The men are keeping to their tasks and working efficiently, but there is also a good bit of playful ribbing between the brothers as they move about. Not all of the men are in full armor, but this isn’t a mission, just a restock and resupply, so Cody isn’t too stuck on the lack of combat readiness. Cody is directing some of his men to move one of the LAATs over when he hears shouting from the other end of the cargo bay. It sounds a bit more like a fight than Cody is happy with. With a tired sigh Cody quickly goes to see what all the fuss is about. He finds Longshot and one of Ponds’ men going at it like they actually mean to cause each other harm. Both troopers are only wearing their lower armor, so Cody can see the looks of anger and intent on their faces. Cody feels his own anger and disappointment rise like a wave.

“Luubid!”, he shouts at the gathered men. (‘Enough!’)

All of the troops jump like they have been electrocuted and snap to attention. Longshot and his current adversary quickly stand at attention, breathing hard and still casting glares at each other.

“Meg cuyir going bat olar?”, Cody growls as he stops just a few feet from the fighters. (‘What is going on here?’)

Cody removes his helmet and holds it against his hip. He hopes the look he levels the men with is filled with all of the disappointment he feels. Ponds has arrived to stand behind Cody silently as they wait for an explanation of this truly unbecoming behavior. Longshot knows better than to test Cody, he answers first.

“Chat made some…harsh...comments about my shooting being lousy, sir. When he wouldn’t shut up, I hit him for it.”

 _Ah, that certainly would start a fight._ Longshot is a proud sharpshooter and doesn’t take kindly to being made to feel like his shooting is subpar. Cody knows his men understand the difference though, between genuine criticism meant to teach and criticism meant to hurt. If Longshot felt he was being talked down to, then this reaction makes sense. That being said, Cody knows his men have been taught better than to start fights on deck, especially where their Generals could come across them. Cody turns his gaze to the offending trooper from Ponds’ group, Chat. Chat, looks like he’d rather be facing down a gundark single handedly than be in Cody's line of sight right now.

“Is this true, trooper?”, Cody asks evenly.

Chat swallows thickly and his gaze flicks past Cody to Ponds, like his Commander will save him.

He won't.

“Do not look at me. Kote asked you a question”, is all Ponds says.

“Yes, sir”, Chat ducks his head slightly and he won't meet Cody’s eyes, “but Longshot threw the first punch.”

Cody feels his glare darken and Longshot drops his head and seems to hunch in on himself slightly. Several brothers watching take a step back. Chat’s not looking at him, but he must see how some of the Vode are reacting because he tenses up.

“Longshot will be disciplined for making things physical, don’t you worry. I will not have our men starting fights. We are brothers and we are better than that. I will not have anyone making us look like fools in front of our Generals. Beyond that though”, Cody steps right up to Chat and looks down at the vod, “I will not have brothers insulting brothers. If you have an issue with Longshots shooting, you challenge him like a true Vode. Hurling insults and offenses is the cowards way of saying you know he’s better than you.”

Chat flinches and shrinks under Cody’s gaze.

“There is always room to grow, Chat”, Cody softens slightly, “but this behavior is unacceptable.”

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.”

Cody nods and steps back to look both troopers down. Longshot and Chat straighten nervously, but neither will meet his gaze.

“You both will finish out your assignments on deck. Then you will go straight to the training rooms and run suicides until I come and tell you to stop. Longshot, you will be on sanitation rotation, for a while. I will not have you starting fights. Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir”, Longshot responds dutifully.

“Kote, please issue a punishment for Chat as well”, Ponds says smoothly from where he’s been standing silently.

“Chat, you will also be on sanitation next to Longshot for the duration of our joint operations. You will be required to undergo additional monitored range time as well. I will leave it to your Commander on how long this is to last”, Cody orders.

“Yes, sir”, Chat murmurs.

“One last thing to all of you”, Cody says as he pours as much of his ire and disappointment into his voice as he can, “We are all brothers, Vode, and there is no use or good in insulting one another with the intent to harm or starting fights like this. Longshot and Chat, I am beyond disappointed in you, you are both better than this.”

Longshot looks close to tears. Chat looks like he wants to go hide in a hole. 

“Am I understood?”

“Yes, sir”, choruses from all around him, not just the two he’s currently glaring at.

“Good. Everyone back to work.”

Cody loves all of his brothers. He will not have them treat each other this way. He will not have them make themselves, or the Vode as a whole, look bad to outsiders.

\---

General Kenobi is a di’kut (idiot) and Cody is gonna send him to the infirmary... as soon as the General is well enough to get out of the infirmary. Cody’s not entirely up to the minute on the details of how his General has landed in the medbay this time, but the fact that he’s still there long enough for Cody to make the trip means that his injuries are likely more severe than normal. _Karking Jedi._ Cody does know enough about what happened that he knows it had to do with General Kenobi trying to use himself and the Force as a human, _Force?_ , shield and got blown into a collapsing building that was on fire. _Always having to do something self sacrificing and dramatic and getting hurt unnecessarily,_ Cody thinks harshly as he rounds the corner into the hall leading to the medbay. The lightsaber clipped to his belt knocks against his armor and it just ratchets up his ire. The lightsaber hilt had come sailing through the air and landed several feet from Cody just before a giant explosion had rocked the battlefield. Cody’d had the brief crazy desire to cuck the thing right back out into the battlefield. 

“It likes you”, General Kenobi had laughed the first time his saber had ended up in Cody's hands during a battle. It had since become enough of an occurrence that Cody's duty belt now has a lightsaber clip. _Karking Jedi_.

The doors to the medbay are open and there's a bit of commotion coming from within. He can hear Bones' exasperated tone that sounds seconds away from becoming appropriately violent.

“General, with all due respect, you aren't going anywhere. Nevermind the fact that you couldn't stand even if you wanted to.”

Cody enters the medbay to see Bones, the 212ths head medic, standing over a bed whose occupant seems to be doing their level best to escape while being physically completely unable to do so. The very broken leg that is currently encased in bacta casts and the multiple IV lines seem to be the factors preventing the aforementioned standing. General Kenobi still looks like he'd very much like to try getting out of the bed anyway. His expression is hard enough that Cody wonders if he’s trying to get his leg healed by sheer will. _Force heal a broken leg?_ Cody wouldn't be at all surprised if that was actually the case, or possible. But it looks like the medic has their General hooked up to an IV that must be pumping some fairly potent drugs into the Jedi’s system, judging by the way Kenobi quickly gives up trying to heal himself with a slump and gives a slightly lopsided doe eyed smile even as he argues with Bones about how he’s completely fine.

“Ah, Cody!” the General calls with a grin when he notices his Commander, “Here to rescue me from Bones' tender mercies I hope.”

 _He’s so stoned_ , Cody thinks as he watches the Jedi grinning up at him, his pupils blown wide. He’s not going to let his General out of a stern talking to so easily just because he's tits up drugged.

“What were you thinking, General? How did you even manage to get a broken leg, 2 cracked ribs, and cut up like you went 3 rounds with an angry nexu?”, Cody demands.

“Don't forget the lung damage from smoke inhalation and sprained wrist”, Bones glowers irritatedly from beside Cody. 

Cody feels his expression darken as he glares at his General. Kenobi has the grace to look slightly ashamed, though he’s still smiling dopily, before saying.

“The mission parameters shifted requiring a reconsideration of tactics used”, then he beams like he should win a prize for being able to string such a sentence together.

“Sir,” Cody sighs, but the General cuts him off before he can continue.

“It worked out well enough. Mission successful. And Anakin would have been proud of that explosion. BOOM!”, Kenobi does a poor mimic of an explosion and then giggles. 

General Kenobi... giggles… Cody decides he's too sober for medically stoned Obi-Wan Kenobi.

“That was extremely reckless, General, even for you. You can't pull stunts like that when you don't even wear armor”, Cody admonishes. 

He’s been getting on his General about the lack of armor for a while now. They all have. None of the 212th are particularly fond of the fact that their General goes into battle wearing only typical robes and tunics. Because Kenobi is his General, Cody feels justified as Commander in being even less fond than everyone else over the lack of armor.

Kenobi tilts his head adorably and Cody fights the urge to brush the Jedi’s hair out of his face. _Karking hells…_

“After this, you may have a point”, Kenobi holds up his pointer finger and then seems to get distracted by it and starts poking it with his other hand.

Cody, ever the practical tactician, sees an opportunity to win a formerly lost argument. He decides to seize the upper hand while he has it. He walks up to Kenobi's bedside and gently takes one of the Jedi's hands away from himself. To get the Jedi’s attention of course.

“You have to agree that after this you need to wear some kind of armor, sir. Something to keep from getting this banged up again.” 

Cody’s not delusional enough to think that his Jetti won't ever get badly wounded again, but really, armor would help. Kenobi seems to mull it over for a minute as he picks at an imaginary speck of dirt on Cody's gauntlet. It’s alarmingly cute, with the expression on his face, as he thinks it over.

“If you wear armor, you wont get as banged up, which means less trips to medical”, Cody reasons. 

Bones gives a mildly offended huff that Cody resolutely ignores. 

“That is true…”

“Look, sir, no one wants you getting blown to pieces and it's inefficient for you to be in the medbay. We all know you don't like medical anyway.” 

Somehow what Kenobi takes from that, is apparently that Cody is worried about him.

The Jedi grins up at Cody a bit more toothily and Cody has a brief flash of _oh kirf_ ; then his General is saying, “If you're so worried about me, my dear, I suppose you should find me some armor.”

Bones snorts as he tries to cover his laugh and promptly abandons Cody. Walking right out of the medbay and laughing the entire way. _Karking shebhole vod._ Cody doubts Kenobi knows how important their armor is in the clones culture. At least he hopes Kenobi doesn't know that asking Cody to find him armor is like a prelude to asking to be courted. Cody hates that a small piece of his mind is already running possibilities for armor options that they have readily available verses what he may have to requisition. He must look rather dumbfounded though, because Kenobi gives a barking laugh before taking pity on him.

“Don't worry, my dear, I will find something suitable to wear”, he says with a pat to Cody's hand.

Cody’s hand, which is still holding Kenobi’s hand. _Kirf.._

“We’ll find you something, sir”, Cody says as he pulls away and steps back, “Now if you’ll excuse me, sir.”

Kenobi settles back in the bed like a pampered pet tooka and gives a winning smile. 

“Of course, my dear Commander. Perhaps you could bring me a datapad or two, to look over reports?”

“No, sir. Bones probably wants you to get some rest.” 

He’s not running away per say, but Cody is steadily backing towards the door. For some reason he’s got the same anxious feeling in his gut as when he was still a young cadet on Kamino and was getting stared down by one of the much older brothers. Not that he’d done anything wrong, but just having their eyes on him; like they could see through him. He worries that General Kenobi will be able to see through him, into his mind and heart.

“Are you sure? Not even one to keep me occupied? I’d hate to get bored, dear Cody.”

Kenobi pulls out the big guns and starts to pout. The pout is made even more tragically effective by the glassy overly round eyes from Kenobi being thoroughly drugged up.

“No, sir. Sorry, sir. Rest well, sir.” 

Cody backs right out of the medbay and the door closes in his face before he breathes a sigh of relief. Hopefully Kenobi doesn't learn how effective that pout actually is. The Jedi will have the whole GAR wrapped around his little finger if that happens. Not that most of the GAR wasn't some sort of enamored with Obi-Wan Kenobi already. _It’d be even worse,_ he thinks with an internal grimace. Cody would be fighting starry eyed shinnies off his General at every turn and he’d hate to have to put ‘the fear’ into them too early on.

A snicker alerts him to the medical staff crowded next to the door where they'd been listening in; grins and mischief covering their faces. Bones opens his mouth and Cody turns his back on whatever the medic is about to say. 

_Nope._

“Don't give him any work”, he says over his shoulder, already planning to get as much paper work done as possible so the General wont worry about it or have any excuses for trying to escape the medbay.

“Yes, my dear~” Bones singsong calls after him, laughter ringing out down the hall.

Cody speed walks to his office and locks himself in for the rest of the day cycle. He’s certain the whole ship will be grinning at him over this when he finally emerges.

\--- 

The 212th has met up with the 104th to begin setting up battle plans for what they have been told is a possible upcoming Separatist attack. Cody stands with General Kenobi, General Plo Koon, Wolffe, and a few other officers at the round holotable to work on the preparations. The preparations are still firmly in the preplanning-not-really-planning-just-staring-at-a-map phase and Cody is enjoying the look on Wolffe’s face. It’s subtle, but Cody can see that slight tightening at the corner of his fellow Commanders eyes and mouth. Cody really hopes that Torch knows how to hide well, because the Wolfpack is very good at hunting a fellow brother and the ship is only so big.

Torch is a newer member of the 212th, but he's showing promise. He'd come to them with flame tattoos around his neck and a pension for being a prankster of the truly aggravating kind. For all that his pranks are aggravating though, the trooper is a fabulous scout and sharpshooter. When the 212th had received orders to meet up with the Wolfpack for this latest mission, Torch had gone giddy and mentioned that someone should definitely not splice loth-wolf howls into Wolffe’s earpiece, despite how amusing that would likely be. Several vode had warily agreed how truly unfortunate that would be for whomever was responsible. Cody had known there would be trouble when Torch had wandered off with one of the tech boys after that.

Wolffe covers his mouth, like he’s clearing his throat, but his eyes glance slightly to the left and Cody knows that he’s comming Boost or one of his other packmates. _Poor Torch_. Cody comments on the approach angle and points out the possible valley for said approach when his own earpiece beeps an incoming comm warning.

“Cody, help”, Torch whispers on the other end of the line. 

Cody ignores him and moves on to bickering-not-bickering with General Kenobi about how “no, sir, I advise against you jumping from the transport mid approach”. 

Cody is grateful that Wolffe doesn't make a comment about him and his Jedi bickering like an old bonded couple. He expects he’ll hear it later after the meeting. Rex wouldn't have had the same manners or courtesy. General Plo looks like he may actually say it, as he watches the back and forth with an air of amusement.

“Cody, they're gonna find me. Help.”

He can hear what sounds like metallic creaking behind Torch’s whispers. _Air ducts?,_ he thinks with amusement. 

There's clanging and muffled voices in his ear for a moment. Cody makes eye contact with Wolffe across the table, who gives a feral grin. That’s the fastest the Pack has hunted and caught a brother onboard. Either they’re getting better or Torch picked a kirf hiding spot. There’s louder banging and angry snarls over the comm and then unnatural quiet. Cody is momentarily thankful that the Pack knows not to damage their brothers from other battalions too badly. Still...

“Cody! Hel-Ah!”

_Poor Torch._

\---

War is busy. There's always something to do and, more often that not, there isn't a lot of down time. That being said, General Kenobi is good at finding or making time for his men to relax and decompress. He says it's to help keep them from getting burned out. It’s actually more along the lines of he cares for his men and wants them to have a bit of peace and fun during this harsh and bloody war. Cody is in one of the rec rooms with what feels like at least half of the 212th. They're playing sabacc and placing bets on the rumor mill and the calm peaceful contentment Cody feels is amazing. Surrounded by good men, his vode, Cody is thankful that they get moments like this. 

"What do you think, Kote?", Longshot asks. 

Cody tilts his head, he hadn't been paying attention, too lost in his thoughts. 

Longshot rolls his eyes and explains, "About placing bets on when Bly outs his feelings to General Secura?"

 _Oh,_ Cody blinks.

"No, that's a bad bet”, Boil says in a tone that makes it sound like he’s said it several times already, “The General is a Jedi and they have rules on attachment. Bly is too respectful to come straight out and say anything anyway."

"I don't know, vod", says Crys, "General Kenobi said the other day that attachment and love are two different things. That the Jedi are allowed to love so long as they don't let it rule their actions or keep them from serving the greater good."

Cody pointedly ignores the glances that get tossed his way. He appreciates his brother's concern, but he doesn't need or want this conversation going down a road that involves him and Obi-his General...Their General…General Kenobi. _Kark_.

"But how do you have love without attachment?", a trooper on the other side of the room asks.

The conversation kicks off into the brewing's of what will likely turn into a play fight of some kind. Cody leans back into his seat and tries not to think about love, attachments, aggravating red haired Generals, or good meaning vode that can't mind their own business. The Jedi are all impressive as warriors and generally good beings, but they have so many rules that govern them and their actions. The rule in this instance being how they can't form attachments. Forming attachment means putting personal emotion on something or someone, that could lead to that attachment being seen as more important than the greater good, more important than the Jedi's duty.

Cody understands attachment in the way that he has a specific blaster that he likes more than the others. The feel of it in his hands and the weight as he carries it into battle are familiar and comforting. Cody thinks he'll be sad when it comes time to get a new one. Cody knows that despite having a tendency for dropping and leaving robes behind, General Kenobi has a favored robe in his quarters that he wears during his down time and when he's needing comfort. The dull brown grey robe is too wide and long to be one of Kenobi's usual average garments. Cody thinks the General would be sad if that robe went missing or got destroyed. That being said, Cody’s well aware how attachment to another being can lead to distraction. Love is just as messy and complicated and comes with its own share of wants and expectations. The faces of Rex, Wolffe, Bones, and a pair of clear blue eyes under red hair flashes across his mind. Love is a hard emotion to run from or hide from. Cody does his best not to focus on the definition of love. It's a slippery slope that he'd rather just avoid.

Unfortunately, Cody understands love without attachment to support the greater good well enough. He loves his brothers. He loves his brothers and wants to see them successful and happy. He loves his brothers and does not want to lose any more in this Force forsaken war. But they are soldiers, sworn to fight and serve the Republic. Soldiers die everyday. They follow orders and fight for the greater good and when they die, those that are left behind can only mourn them in private and honor them by staying strong and carrying on. Cody loves his brothers and wishes he could take them all out of this war, to some place where they can be their own people, where they can be free. But they are all soldiers of the GAR. They all have a job to do. They are all good at their jobs. 

_Perhaps after the war,_ Cody thinks. There are a lot of things Cody sometimes thinks about, about after the war. 

Cody looks around the rec room at his men, his brothers, his Vode. He wonders how many of them will make it to the end of this war. Cody _loves_ his brothers. He thinks he wouldn't care what happened to himself, if it meant his people surviving this war and finding their own place to belong. 

\---

Kamino is just as he remembers and hates. Every time he has to come back to this Force forsaken rock it makes something in him cringe. There is a bit of nostalgia in being back on his planet of origin, but usually any good feelings don't last long. Cody is here to pick up a new group of shinnies to take back to the _Negotiator_. It’s interesting to see how the training and schooling has changed for these newer batches versus what Cody and the older vode were put through. He’s glad the Jedi put a stop to some of the more traumatic practices and training techniques that used to be employed in the cloning facility.

Cody walks the halls with a calm remembrance. He really has nowhere pressing to be for another few hours, when the ships will be ready to leave with his new troopers. So he’s walking the halls and finding amusement in the cadets and young troopers that watch him with an air of wonderment and admiration. He pauses and looks out of the full glass walk, down to the training room he is currently passing over. Cody knows that he’s highly respected among his people. He’s not blind or deaf, he’s well aware of how many of the vode, even outside the 212, look to him as a leader. He takes pride in how strong he is, how good he is at his job as a commander, but it’s different having almost all of the Vode seeing him as their leader, their Alor. It’s not a position he feels worthy of, so he does his best not to acknowledge or encourage his people's devotion. That being said, he has always been willing to do and be whatever he needs to in order to help and be there for the Vode. Cody loves his brothers, his people. He is Ko-

“Kote, of the Vode”, calls a gruff voice from behind Cody that interrupts his thoughts.

He turns and is surprised to find Alpha-17 prowling down the hall towards him. Cody isn't sure if he’s happy about seeing the older vod, or if he should chance it and jump to get away from the Alpha trooper. But he’s no coward, so he turns to salute Alpha respectfully. They both salute and then clasp forearms in a traditional handshake.

“Alpha. Shouldn’t you be off terrorizing and beating some training into a new batch of recruits?”

His bravery earns him a pointed smirk from Alpha-17.

“I don’t know what you mean, Kote. I hear I’m a dream compared to some of the seasoned Commanders out in the field.”

That makes Cody huff a barely concealed laugh. He turns to look back out at the sea of vode training below them. Alpha falls into a casual parade rest next to him. Cody respects Alpha, both as one of the oldest of the Vode and one of the strongest of them. Alpha trained Cody and taught him a lot over the years. He put Cody through hell too, but it ended up all being for the better. Cody owes some of his best assets to what Alpha put him through.

“How are you holding up, Kot’ika?”, Alpha asks after they stand in silence for a few minutes. (Alpha’s term of endearment for Cody)

It’s odd to have Alpha-17 sound kind or gentle in any way, but it makes Cody feel good to know that Alpha does actually care. The war is hard on all of them. Cody hates that he can’t help all of the Vode. He hates looking at the reports of fatality numbers after battles. He hates that they have so many funerals and memorials for those that have passed on. It makes his very soul ache at not knowing who will make it to the next day. It makes something in him sour, the thought that all of the Vode throughout the galaxy lay down their lives every minute and there are still some beings out there in the galaxy that see the clones as expendable. The saving grace there, is how the Jedi seem to understand and support the men in their charge. Cody is thankful that, for the most part, their Jedi Generals treat them like people. He’s thankful that even an old grizzled sheb like Alpha-17 still cares about his people.

“Some days are harder than others, ori’vod”, is what Cody ends up answering with; he knows Alpha will understand.

“You are strong, Kote. We, the Vode, are strong. Though, I have no doubt that if you could, you would look after all of us. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

Down below in the training areas, it seems that the vode have noticed him and Alpha watching, the older vode and trainers drawing the others attention to Cody and Alpha. The vode below all turn to look up at them and salute. Cody is once again filled with warm love and respect for his brothers, his people. He feels it to his core, something he simply cannot explain. Cody doesn't want to draw Alpha’s attention to how emotional he is in this moment and tries to distract himself from the strength of his own feelings.

“So, they stop training to salute you now?”, Cody asks, trying to sound casually amused and light hearted.

Alpha smirks as he passes his gaze along all of the saluting vode beneath them.

“No. And they aren’t saluting me.”

Cody's throat feels tight around the emotion that tries to escape him.

\---

Umbara hits everyone hard. Waxer's death seems to kick the spirit right out of Boil. Boil retreats into himself and is completely silent for several days and volatile when anyone tries to touch him. His silence drives Cody mad with every minute. Soldiers die everyday, but Waxer's death...Krell's betrayal… It’s a bit more than any of the vode are ready or able to handle. Rex clings to Cody for as long as he can before being sent back out with his own men. Cody pours as much love, affection, and physical comfort onto Rex while they have the short time together. His vod’ika blames himself and carries Waxer's death and all that happened heavy on his shoulders. Cody just wishes he could make it all better. He wishes he could scoop up every trooper and take them to a place where they all are free and can belong without expectation, away from war and death. Instead, he does what he can, does his best to get Boil to talk again.

One night cycle, after days of strategic pestering, Cody comes into the barracks from his last meeting with General Kenobi to find Boil sitting on Cody’s bunk. His head is down and his body is full of so much tension Cody knows it has to hurt. 

“Boil?”, he asks quietly, walking up to the man, “Vod?”

His brother looks up at him and Cody has to bite his cheek to keep from crying in sympathy. Boils face is flushed and dirty from crying. His eyes bloodshot and dull from heartache.

“It’s not fair, Kote. It’s not fair.”, his voice cracks from disuse and pain.

“No. No it’s not”, there isn't anything else to say really.

“We’ve lost so many brothers already and now losing him... I can't even look in the mirror”, Boil sounds like he’s crying, but there are no more tears left to be shed.

Cody sits next to his mourning brother, puts an arm around him, and pulls him close.

“You are strong, Boil. You have to keep being strong. For him, for Numa, for the rest of us, for yourself. We’ll get through this together like we always have.”

“I always thought there would be more time”, Boil laments, leaning even more into Cody. “We always talked about what we’d do after the war. How we’d adopt Numa and show her the galaxy and teach her about all of our brothers and our culture.”

Cody fights down another bout of tears that threatens to well up. Recently he feels like he’s been taking care of scared, sad, and broken vode just as much, if not more, than he did back on Kamino. Before the Jedi found them on Kamino it was a fight for survival against the torture and training and constant threat of decommissioning. Every vod in constant fear of being too much, too little, not ever enough. Fear for themselves and their brothers. They all learned how to care for and comfort each other. Even after being found, as the war began, brothers looked after one another. The fear isn't the same, the trauma from the battlefield different from the fear and scarring they dealt with when they were young. Cody may not be the best at comfort, Rex was somehow the more emotionally competent of the two of them, but Cody loves his brothers and he’d always do what he could to be there for them.

“You're here, vod. You're here and after the war you’ll still be able to show and teach Numa all of the things you and Waxer talked about. But you can't lose yourself along the way”, Cody takes a steading breath, “We’ve all lived fighting and surviving, it’s all we’ve ever known, but we need to make sure that we don't let time get away from us. The time we have now is precious and we have to live it while we can, keep on surviving and be here for each other. When we make it to the end of this war, we’ll still be here for one another."

Different challenges will be waiting for them when the war ends. The Vode were made for war and no one’s ever really been able to say what they will do when the war is done. He’s heard rumors of there being long debates in the Senate about clone rights. There are those that see them as fleshed droids and then there are those that see them as the individual sentient beings that they are. It’s upsetting to think about. What purpose will they serve after what they were made for is over? Maybe they’ll turn into galactic planetary guards or some sort of Republic watchers. Hopefully some of them will be allowed to get out and do something else if they want. Hopefully there will be some time of peace where they don't have to fight. Hopefully those that make it out will be able to find some happiness.

Boil’s watching him with a little more life in his eyes, hopefully that means he’s helping even though his own thoughts are bleak. 

“You gonna take your own advice, vod?”, Boil asks with a shadow of a smile in his eyes. 

Cody’s not sure he wants to unpack what his vod means by that and gives a fond smile. 

He instead playfully asks, “would a floor pile make you feel better?”

Cody gets a hardy shove in the shoulder for the remark, but it's no surprise that within the hour most of the bunks are empty and bare, a makeshift nest covers the floor, and Boil is snoring next to Cody. Many other vode tangled all together and taking comfort in the shared closeness.

\---

When the call comes down the line to move on Utapau, Cody rallies his brothers and they’re all ready for another battle. _Another battle, another planet_ , Cody thinks blandly. So many brothers have been lost in this war and Cody is just ready for it to be over. General Kenobi has likely gotten himself in more trouble, as he’s not answering his comm. If Waxer were here, he would have made a joke about what possible ways their trouble prone Jetti has stepped in this time. Unfortunately, the thought leaves a slightly bitter taste in his mouth that’s similar to grief. As the transports swing down into the sinkhole and the shooting starts Cody goes into battle mode. Shoot, shoot, dodge, shoot, pull a vod behind cover, shoot. Cody hears over the comms that the General is fighting Grievous. He’s not worried about his Jedi until a familiar saber hilt lands on the platform next to Cody’s feet. He picks up General Kenobi’s lightsaber with a long suffering sigh. Bones signs ‘Really? Again? _’_ and Cody knows his vod is snickering at him in his bucket.

“It likes you”, the General had laughed so many times seemingly so long ago. 

The latest time being after a long battle on a moon Cody never bothered to remember the name of. He’s sure he could dig it up from the depths of all the other information he keeps track of, but really what’s the point, other than remembering how after the shooting stopped the General had been smiling and laughing with the Vode. It seems so long ago. None of them have been laughing or smiling all that much lately. This war has gone on too long. They have lost too many brothers. Cody tries not to show how much it weighs on him, but it’s a near impossible thing to carry some days. Rex had mentioned feeling the same the last time they talked, before Rex and Ahsoka headed out to Mandalore. He hopes that soon he’ll get to spend some decent off time with Rex. His vod’ika hasn’t quite been the same since Fives’ death. Cody wishes he could make it all better.

The shriek of a varactyl has Cody looking up to see his General riding the impressive green and blue beast. _Jedi_ , Cody thinks exasperatedly fond. General Kenobi gives the word to start advancing to the upper levels and Cody returns the saber to its rightful master. He wants to make a quip about “this weapon is your life” or something equally chastising like his General does when he’s scolding Skywalker, but decides against it. They’re in the middle of a battle and there will be time later to give General Kenobi a dressing down for losing his weapon. Again. With that ever charming grin Kenobi is urging his mount onward and Cody takes a second to feel fond amusement over his general riding that ridiculous creature like it’s second nature. 

His comm beeps with an incoming transmission and still grinning in his helmet, Cody answers the incoming holocall.

“Commander Cody. The time has come. Execute Order 66.”

For a heartbeat, Cody feels excruciating panic and a pain like nothing he’s ever known before. For a heartbeat he realizes. For a heartbeat he fights. For a heartbeat he wants to scream, but then-

_Good soldiers follow orders._

_Good soldiers follow orders._

He is a good soldier. He follows orders.

\---

CC-2224 looks up at the green and blue beast climbing along the valley walls, its rider distracted from the soldiers and battle below. _Obi-Trait-Gen-Good soldiers follow orders... Traitor_. He gives the order for the cannon to fire and watches as the beast and traitorous rider fall to the water below. The battle doesn’t last long after that. CC-2224 takes a squad and searches the caves and water systems for the traitor's body, but they only find some truly foul carnivorous aquatic creatures. He puts in the final report that the body was likely eaten, or it was dragged so far into the caves that they would never find it. They stay on Utapau for another few days before they're called back to Coruscant. The dead are left where they fell.

\---

Time moves oddly for CC-2224. Fast paced yet slow at the same time. Nat-born commanding officers start calling the shots almost immediately after CC-2224 and his men leave Utapau. He’s not sure where they came from, but they seem competent and orders are what they are.

On the way to Coruscant they get switched to a new directive: hunting down any remaining traitors and their allies. The men are warned to watch out for their comrades, as some have been seduced by the traitorous Jedi and are willing to turn on their fellow troopers. The halls of the ship are quiet and the men spend a great deal of time eyeing one another suspiciously. CC-2224 feels like he’s in a dream sometimes. He’ll be giving out orders and at times almost call a soldier by a name he doesn’t fully remember instead of their number, narrowly catching himself and having to deal with the headache that springs up afterward. 

He does his best to not let it show that he gets the headaches. The last soldiers that went to the medbay with headaches were promptly sent off to some other mission post. CC-2224 doesn’t want to be sent to some backwater hell hole just because he gets headaches. He imagines it'd be even worse if it was found out that he often feels like he hears voices that aren’t there. Voices that call out names he feels like he should know. Voices that call out with laughter that makes him smile, which he allows only because it's hidden inside his helmet. Usually though, the voices cry out in pain and sadness. Always voices that are on the edge of him being able to understand them, but so quiet and far away that he can't quite tell what they're saying. CC-2224 chocks the voices up to trauma from all the battles he’s been in. They aren’t real voices. They aren’t memories. He’d sooner believe or admit that he's got PTSD before entertaining the idea that it could be anything else.

 _Good soldiers follow orders._

He’d likely be thrown out of the airlock if it was anything else.

Bad dreams are nothing new either and all soldiers get them. When someone has a bad dream, the others pretend that they don’t notice. When CC-2224 wakes up screaming, feeling like he’s been kicked in the gut, blessedly no one says anything and no one asks questions. His dreams are always just out of reach, like the not voices, like the not names, distorted and faint. When he tries to focus and remember what caused the ache behind his sternum and the catch in his throat and the tear tracks down his face, the headache threatens to floor him. 

_Good soldiers follow orders._

Eventually, CC-2224 gets very good at not focusing on anything not immediately in front of him. The distractions are just that, and he will not be another good soldier sent off to nowhere because he can’t hold it together.

\---

All of the men are given new armor. Plain white with no distinguishing features to separate them from one another. CC-2224 has a brief moment of missing his old armor and the colors that he knows meant more than just his battalion and command. Another soldier asks if they are able to paint this new armor. Within hours that soldier is sent off somewhere and no one hears from him. CC-2224 forgets that he ever had colors to care about.

_Good soldiers follow orders._

Any trooper caught speaking any other lounge than Basic is punished. They have translator droid's for any communication with natives that needs to be done. CC-2224 isn’t too sure why this is such a big deal, but orders are orders. So he sticks to Basic and to his job.

The clones that have any identifying tattoos or branding are taken to specialty medics and given a ‘clean slate’, as the nat-borns call it. Some scars, like the one on CC-2224’s face are deemed unimportant enough to be left as they are and aren’t dealt with in the same way. Those with non-standard issue hair are shaved. In just a short time, they all look just about the same again. The scars they’ve gotten from hardly remembered battles past are the only things that outwardly distinguish them as different.

_\---_

The clones start being sent on missions or to posts away from each other. Their numbers are spread thin. They’re all told that it is routine dispersion of personnel and reallocating of resources to necessary outlets across the galaxy. There are many systems that need their assistance in keeping the peace. Nat-born soldiers are brought in and given higher rank than most of the clones. CC-2224 is allowed to remain a commander, but it's made clear that there are nat-born officers and soldiers that outrank him, most of the nat-born soldiers pay him and the other clones no mind. Commander, it’s just a flashy title now and it becomes as empty and meaningless as CC-2224 feels.

It becomes very clear, very quickly, that CC-2224 and his men are seen as lesser than the nat-borns they serve with. They are the resources being reallocated. No one is outwardly rude or hostile, but a weighted unease settles amongst the men. Clone troopers that are kept in the same squads or on the same posts don’t outwardly display their discomfort or dismay, but there is a quiet sort of comradery that is shared in small glances; and the fact that when they wake up screaming and crying, no one outs them.

When nat-born soldiers start getting put in bunks that used to be occupied by clones, they all have to try that much harder to keep from being seen as weak or obsolete. They are all good soldiers and they are all good at their jobs. CC-2224 stops sleeping. He works himself to exhaustion and only after days of nonstop moving does he crash into his bunk and pass out for a few hours. The overexertion and exhaustion at least make it so that he's so tired when he finally does fall asleep, he doesn’t have any dreams, at least that he remembers. He doesn’t wake up screaming, but there is still a soul deep pain in his chest and an ache in his head. 

Some days are worse than others.

\---

Focusing only on what's immediately in front of him one day becomes a clone trooper running up to CC-2224 and begging him not to let them take him. His eyes are wild and he’s full of fear. He’s not wearing a helmet and only has half his armor on. A group of nat-born officers that were following come and pull the soldier away, his sobbing echoing down the halls. CC-2224 has an odd internal spike of _no leave him alone!_ and the urge to start throwing punches. Instead he remains still, at attention, and hates himself a little bit more.

“What did he say to you?”, askes one of the officers that stayed behind.

“Nothing, sir. Just said he didn’t want to get taken away”, CC-2224 responds.

The officer nods and turns to follow his fellow nat-borns when CC-2224 must lose his mind because he can’t help but ask, “Sir, where is he being taken?”

The officer rounds on him and is in his face before he realizes his mistake. CC-2224 fights down the urge to reach for his blaster. He is scrutinized for several moments before the officer speaks. 

“He was caught talking about salacious and traitorous things. He claims they are from dreams he has been having, but the Empire takes talk of such things very seriously”, another moment of scrutiny and then, “have you or any of your men been having similar dreams, soldier?”

_Good soldiers follow orders._

CC-2224 is thankful for his bucket, as it hides his grimace from the shock of pain in the back of his skull. 

He locks his knees and fights to keep his voice level as he says, “No, sir.”

“Good”, says the officer as he turns to leave, “we can't afford to lose too many soldiers.”

_Good soldiers follow orders._

The now silent hallway feels suffocating. CC-2224 has to lean against the wall to keep from falling for several long moments before he’s able to muscle down the nausea and pain and get to his post. He’s a good soldier and he has a job to do.

\---

CC-2224 is sent on a mission to a jungle planet to track down a group of rebels that are causing trouble. He’s the only clone trooper in the squad of nat-borns and he does his best not to get twitchy. He has a job to do: hunt down and destroy any traitors to the Empire, keep the peace and shut down any attempts at resistance. He’s good at his job. Orders this time are to bring as many of the troublemakers as possible in alive so that they can be questioned. Their information states that there is a small group of rebels that are attempting to garner sympathy and support from the local tribes. It’s not nearly as much info as CC-2224 thinks they should have before heading out. Too little real info and too much that could go wrong. He’s not in charge though, so he stays quiet and keeps his blaster extra close. They track down their source to a small village surrounded by mountains and wet muddy jungle woods. With a bit of pressure the locals give them a general direction and bit of wilderness where the rebels are said to have made camp. The transport CC-2224 and his group rode in on is stashed where they're fairly certain no one will try to mess with it. CC-2224 and his squad set up a grid search and start hunting. They stay at a steady pace and keep a loose formation so as to be mostly quiet and unnoticeable while still being quick. 

His hunting party is irritable and clearly not used to trekking through the wilderness for this long in full kit. CC-2224 keeps his sarcastic comments to himself. He’s run further and longer, been in dirty full armor during battles that lasted weeks. The memories of those past battles, like all of his memories it seems, are blurry at the edges. Any faces or names are always right out of reach. Even with the distorted memory, CC-2224 knows these poor souls wouldn't have lasted nearly as long with all their whining. It’s two days of tracking through the mud and damp forest before they find where their targets have set up camp. They eventually find the camp nestled into a mountain base, nearly hidden amongst the rocks. They almost miss it, but CC-2224 spots a flash of reflected light and knows they've found their target.

There are six traitors that they can see. All wearing dark, obscure clothing meant for hiding and blending into the nature around them. Hoods pulled up over their heads and masks pulled up over most of their faces. CC-2224 suggests waiting until dark and going in quietly. There will be less of a mess that way and less of the chance of a shootout that will be noticed by the locals. They’ll be able to capture their targets easier if they let their guard down for the night cycle. Unsurprisingly, he’s out voted and it’s decided that they go in right now and take care of this quickly and then get out of this horrid jungle. 

The resulting shootout is an even bigger mess than CC-2224 expected. The rebels have rigged small landmines at the rear of their camp and as CC-2224 and another trooper chase down one of their targets, they are led right into the minefield. CC-2224 is thrown into the rockface and fights to keep from blacking out as his head hits the hard surface. He pulls himself up and takes aim at the fleeing rebel. It’s an easy shot even with the blurry vision and with a squeeze of the trigger his target goes down. There’s muffled sound from the rest of the squad dealing with their own targets. CC-2224 tries to shake off the last of the dizziness from getting thrown by the blast, but it just starts up a new more persistent headache. _Karking headaches._

“What the hell are you doing?”, snaps the soldier that had been giving chase with him. 

He’d gotten blown back a few yards and is struggling to his feet as well, “We’re supposed to take them alive so they can be questioned.”

“Would you have rather I let them get away?”, CC-2224 asks blearily.

“Useless clone. Getting so rusted, can't follow a simple order”, the soldier accuses harshly. 

_Good soldiers follow orders._

CC-2224 bites his tongue so hard he tastes blood. He’s a good soldier. That had been a good clean shot. He’s still reeling from the blast and doesn't notice a hidden 7th rebel taking aim until his companion has a blaster hole through his chest and is falling to the ground. Despite the oncoming headache, possible concussion, and the world still looking a bit blurry from getting shaken by the explosion, CC-2224 gets up and gives chase quickly. This target is dressed in dark clothes and a full face mask like the others, but they clearly are used to running through rough terrain in bulky clothing. They’re hopping logs and dodging holes in the ground with hardly any problem. CC-2224 is only a few steps behind them though and he raises his blaster and fires off a few shots.

His target ducks behind a tree and takes a sharp turn to the right, narrowly missing getting shot in the head. It looks like they're headed for a grove of closely grown trees up ahead that CC-2224 would bet is cover for a speeder of some kind. He’s not going to let them get away though. He spots an outcrop of rock that's just a bit further to the right, elevated ground that his target will run right by. He forces his legs to pick up speed and as he gains the high ground he launches himself the last few feet and catches the edge of his target's cloak. His weight and momentum send them both crashing to the ground and his blaster gets knocked from his hands. CC-2224 wrestles to his knees and reaches for his targets arms just as they level their own blaster at his head. He manages to jerk their aim to the side and avoid losing his head, but it opens his chest up to a strong kick that sends him backwards. The target rolls and struggles in the mud to find their feet, but CC-2224 is able to grab their leg and pull them back to the ground. They grapple over the blaster, several shots going off, but only manage to hit nearby trees. Several well placed punches and kicks shifts his helmet and his vision goes that much more crooked.

CC-2224 finally gets the blaster in his hands and is taking aim when the target grabs the barrel and yanks it down towards the ground. A shot goes off, but it hits the ground near the traitors head, their mask falling half off. In the same seconds the target levers up and strikes CC-2224 in the side of the head with their elbow. It’s enough to send his helmet flying. 

His target freezes. CC-2224 freezes. A face that looks just like his own, minus his scar, stares back at him, brown eyes wide in shock. _A clone?_

"Cody?"

_Good soldiers follow orders._

CC-2224 flinches from the pain. His head starts throbbing anew. Who's Cody? The clone beneath him looks like he's seeing a ghost. Shock and, inexplicably, relief and happiness mixing in their expression. They shift as if to try to reach for him, smiling. CC-2224 brings the blaster back level with their chest just as his squadmates emerge from the trees to join them. 

"Well done CC-2224. Another traitor of the Empire caught."

"Thank you, sir", he says automatically. 

Two of his squad step up and start to pull the other clone out from under him. The expression of brief happiness disappearing behind a mask of bleak uncertainty. CC-2224 stands quickly and backs off a few feet.

“Well done getting them alive. At least now we’ll have one to take back with us, eh”, chuckles one of the soldiers.

“..Yes, sir”, CC-2224 murmurs, trying to think through the unexpected emotions that are trying to claw their way up from within him. 

He hasn't felt anything like this in so long. _What is this?_

"Cody, listen, this isn't you. It’s the chip", says the other clone as he struggles for a moment; he gets a hit to the back of his legs that sends him to his knees. 

"Do you know this traitor?", asks their squad leader, turning on CC-2224 with interest. 

"No, sir", he responds even as the soldiers pull the clones hood and mask fully off to reveal his similar face, flame tattoos peeking out from the collar of his tunics.

"Oh ho, another clone. What's your number trooper?"

The clone glares at the other soldiers around them before looking back to CC-2224, "Cody, please list-", the clone gets interrupted by a hit to the head. 

"Sure sounds like he knows you, soldier", CC-224’s squad is looking at him like they're ready to turn their blasters on him. 

"I don't know who he is, sir. I don't know what he’s talking about", CC-2224 says, feeling desperate and sick. 

Something in him is rebelling against his own words, but he doesn't understand what or why. It feels like his head is going to explode. An unseen pressure pushing in all around him.

The squad leader hums thoughtfully before saying, "Either way, this clone is a deserter and a traitor to the Empire. He's too dangerous to be taken into custody and allowed to spread descension and lies. I'm sentencing him to execution immediately. As you were CC-2224."

It takes a second for CC-2224 to realize what is being asked of him. In that same second the other clone seems to regain his voice.

"No, wait!", the troopers holding the clone keep him pinned on his knees as he looks up at CC-2224 with pleading eyes. 

“Wake up, Cody. This isn't you!”, there are tears starting to fall from his brown eyes.

 _Good soldiers follow orders._

"Do it CC-2224."

CC-2224 is paralyzed. This can't be right. This isn't-

_Good soldiers follow orders._

"Cody. Kote, vod! You're stronger than this. Fight!"

Kote…?

_Good soldiers follow-_

Words, voices, names, faces, memories. Flashes that he knows, he _knows_ , he should recognize but are just out of reach blast through his mind. Stars, everything is so loud and hurts and _what am I doing.._

"Snap out of it!", his squad leader yells at him, shaking him roughly. 

CC-2224 hadn't realized he'd fallen to a knee clutching his head. 

"I gave you an order, soldier!"

 _Good soldiers follow orders._

CC-2224 is a good soldier. He gets to his feet and raises his blaster. 

"Kote, this isn't you, fight it. Gar cuyir kovid, ori'vod." (“You are strong, big brother”) 

Brown eyes identical to his peer up at him. Eyes full of sadness and pain. 

The pounding in his head intensifies. There's dark agonizing pressure all around him. 

_Good soldiers follow orders._

"Do it CC-2224!"

_Good soldiers follow orders._

Something resigned and soft flashes across the kneeling clones face, settling into an odd peaceful acceptance. He’s smiling, gentle and so very sad, but smiling.

"It's ok, Kote. This isn't you. Ibic cuyir ash'ad." (“This is someone else.”)

 _Good soldiers follow orders._

He feels like the void itself is trying to break through his skull. It hurts so bad. It's so loud.

"Now, soldier!"

"Kote. May the force be with you."

 _Good soldiers follow orders!_

CC-2224 grips his blaster and fires. 

_Good soldiers follow orders._

The body of the traitor falls lifelessly to the ground, smoke rising from where the shot hit home. CC-2224 falls to his knees. He can’t catch his breath. 

_What is happening?_

“What a waste”, says one of the soldiers as they toe the dead clone's body on its back; CC-2224’s empty face gazes from the dead body back up at him.

“Hold up. What’s that?”, one of the soldiers pulls what looks to be an antenna from a pocket in the clones robes.

“Hells below, it’s a tracking beacon.”

“It’s transmitting audio on an open channel! There must be more rebels close by.”

“You idiots”, their leader snaps and snatches the beacon. 

He tosses it to the ground and brakes it under the heel of his boot.

“On your feet clone. We’ve gotta get out of here before whoever was on the other end of that beacon shows up.”

CC-2224 doesn't move. He can't. He can't look away from his own dead face. Someone grabs him by the arm, he's being hauled to his feet, then shoved in the direction they stashed their transport miles back. They leave the dead rebels and their smoldering camp behind. The dead clone with the flames on his neck is left where CC-2224 executed him. 

He’s moving, but he has no control over it. He doesn't want to move. CC-2224 wants to fall into an endless void and never return. His brain feels like it's simultaneously on blazing fire and frozen still. Every molecule in his body hurts. He and his teammates are jogging through the woods far more quickly than they had on arrival. His armor clinks together where it got knocked askew during his skirmish. He doesn't have his helmet. They’ve taken his blaster from him. 

_Good soldiers follow orders._

He clenches his fists so hard he'd be bleeding if he wasn't wearing gloves. The jungle around them feels like it’s flying by as they move, but there are voices and images flying in front of CC-2224’s eyes like he's watching a holovid. They’re blurry, unfocused, almost recognizable and he tries so hard to see through them. He’s a good soldier. He’s good at his job. 

_“Kote. May the force be with you.”_

He’s not paying attention, so unfocused with his thoughts, and his boot snags on a root sending him to the ground.

“Tch. Get up!”, one of the soldiers snap as the group pauses to look back at him. 

CC-2224 tries to get to his feet just as the sound of approaching fighters picks up in the distance.

 _Good soldiers- ”Kote”-Good soldiers follow-”Cody”._..

“Just leave him”, snaps the soldier furthest from him, several of them turn back to start running again.

“Wait. We have orders. If he’s no longer useful, he’s not left alive.”

CC-2224’s head snaps up as their leader steps towards him. He realizes they’re turning against him and goes to lift his blaster. Only it's not in his hands. They had taken his blaster. They’re turning against him. After everything he’s done? After what he’s just done? After what he almost didn't do. The pain in his body is suddenly overshadowed, eclipsed, with a startling rage. It comes on so fast it forces the breath out of him and has his muscles jumping. He lunges towards the closest soldier who fires their blaster at him. Miraculously the shot misses him, whizzing by his head. He grabs the blaster, twisting just as the idiot holding it fires again, this time managing to hit their own arm. They let go of the weapon and CC-2224s firing at their chest point blank, in less than a blink he has the weapon trained on the squad leader. The whole squad has their weapons on him. They’re in a standoff. CC-2224 doesn't feel an ounce of fear. He’s faced worse odds before, faced greater risks. 

_“Nothing good comes without a bit of risk.”_

The thought, _memory?_ , lances through him as his head pounds. How does he even have a brain left to feel such pain?

“You weak useless clone. No wonder the Empire started phasing you and your worthless brothers out as soon as they could”, sneers the leader aiming his blaster at CC-2224’s head.

His brothers?

_“Vod!”_

_“You make a very cute loth-bat.”_

_“We’re here for each other, vod”_

_“Hey, Cody!”_

What is this? What is happening?

_Good soldiers follow orders._

CC-2224 can hardly hear over the roar of his own blood in his ears, the pain in his head, the ache in his soul, the rage boiling inside him. He tenses up, preparing to dodge whatever shot comes next, readies himself for the fight. CC-2224 sees the leader's finger move on the trigger. 

The blast that comes, does so from above. There are suddenly three starfighters overhead shooting down at them through the trees. Several of the squad get sent flying and CC-2224s instincts kick in and he turns to run back towards the rocks for cover. He hears a soldier scream as more bolts lance into the ground after them. He runs past the dead clone and he's almost to the mountain base and better cover. The fighters are turning back towards him as he's sprinting the final distance through the back of the destroyed rebel camp, heading for a shallow opening. When the fighters are in range again he feels the heat of the blasts at his heels and realizes he's not going to make it. This is it. A blast lands so close that it sends him flying into the rocks. His head hits hard and it's the last thing CC-2224 is aware of.

\---

When CC-2224 becomes aware again, for a second he's certain he's dead, everything's dark and everything feels sluggish and floaty. He can feel that he's laying down, the surface is hard but with a slight give. _B_ __e_ d or some kind of table. _ There's pressure on his shoulders, over his chest and arms, his thighs, and at his ankles. _Restraints._ He tries to open his eyes and can’t, there's something obstructing his vision. _Blindfolded._ Something stings on his right arm, a pin prick of sensation that feels oddly discomforting. The sluggish feeling now makes sense. _IV drugs or some kind of sedative._ At least he can't feel any of the pain that he knows he should be with everything he’s been through in the last few hours. Days? _How long has it been?_ CC-2224 recognizes that he’s not in a friendly situation. He can hear the hum of engines and the faint tick of a hyperdrive. _A ship traveling through hyperspace_. Years of hard learned instinct tells him he's not alone.

"How are you feeling?”, asks a young female voice near to his right.

CC-2224 wont ever admit to being startled that moment. That shouldn't be surprising though. He’s on a hostile ship, restrained and likely going to be tortured for information or just for the fact that he's an Imperial trooper. Of course he’s wound tight.

“I can tell you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

Whatever drugs are getting pumped into him, none of them are inhibitors or truth tellers, he feels no chemical compulsion to answer.

“Why ask him anything, he won't answer. He’s programmed to stay silent if caught”, says a rude sounding deep male voice further away past his head.

CC-2224 wants to hit whomever just spoke. He's not a droid. He’s a stormtrooper under orders of the Galactic Empire. He’s a clo-

_”Useless clone, cant follow a simple order”_

_”We’re just clones, sir. We’re expendable.”_

_“You may be a clone, but you're beautifully individual. You’re wonderfully yourself, my dear.”_

He’s a good soldier.

_Good soldiers follow orders._

“Don’t worry about Toph. He’s always like that.”, says the female voice; he can hear her leaning in closer as she whispers, “We'll get you settled, Commander Cody. Hang in there.”

 _No._ Something in his gut clenches. Even with the drugs he feels so wrong, feels sick, and something twisted inside of him retches in complaint. This isn’t right. This isn’t-

 _“Wake up, Cody. This isn’t you.”_

CC-2224 would rather they just kill him. A soft hand touches his face just on the edge of the blindfold.

_Good soldiers follow orders._

“Imperial Stormtrooper. Ident code CC-2224.”

_Good soldiers follow orders._

“Don't worry, Commander. We’ll get you help.”

_Good soldiers follow orders._

“Imperial Stormtrooper. Ident code CC-2224.”

_Good soldiers follow orders._

He’s not programmed to stay silent. And he doesn't have a blaster.

\---

CC-2224 keeps up the mantra for who knows how long. The female, who tells him her name is Izzy, often asks him questions or tries to get him to say something else. She spends a great deal of time telling him about her favorite foods on different worlds. He just keeps repeating the same words he's been trained to turn to if caught without a weapon.

_Good soldiers follow orders._

"Imperial Stormtrooper. Ident code CC-2224.”

Over and over. 

They drop out of hyperspace at some point. CC-2224 feels the ship give a massive shake and there’s a groan from the hyperdrive as it powers back down. Within what feels like a few minutes they’re shuddering through an atmosphere and leveling out.

“See, made it. She’s rusty, but she gets us where we need to go.”

“Imperial Stormtrooper. Ident code CC-2224.”

Eventually CC-2224 hears Toph, their pilot speaking to what must be a landing crew, “Ground, this is _Render 1_ requesting clearance to land. We’ve got a leaky bucket on board that needs some repairs.”

“ _Render 1_ , this is Ground, you are cleared for landing. Back pad.”

“Back pad, copy. Have the backdoor and some sealant ready for us. This bucket’s pretty special.”

“Copy that, _Render 1_.”

“We’re almost there, Commander. Just a bit longer.”

“Imperial Stormtrooper. Ident code CC-2224.”

The ship shudders and vibrates. CC-2224 hears Toph march over and he does something to whatever is connected to CC-2224’s arm. CC-2224 is half through the next repeat when his senses go fuzzy and he tips back into blessed unconsciousness.

\---

When he comes too the next time, it feels like he’s coming out of a fog, but he can see. He’s in some sort of makeshift medbay. The walls and floor are a rough brownstone. The medical equipment in the room is all clean and sterile, but it’s clear this room was not originally meant for this purpose. The lights are bright but there's gauze over them to soften the overly harsh glow. The head of the bed he’s in is tilted so he is in a more upright reclining position. He’s still restrained. These restraints are certainly not the ones used on the ship that brought him in, those had felt flimsy enough he could have broken out if he’d not been drugged. Now though, his ankles, thighs, waist, wrists, and chest are all held to the bed by heavy thick leather and metal straps and cuffs. He’s not going anywhere. There’s an IV in his neck, the tubing strategically placed to keep him from being able to grab or pull it. His armor is gone and he's in just his blacks. He blinks rapidly to get the last bit of fuzziness to clear from his mind.

The door hisses open and in walks a female humanoid. She's short, but lithe looking, and has wrinkled worn orange skin. Behind the zoom lens goggles, her eyes look calculating and thoughtful. The eyes of someone who's seen some crazy things.

“Good rest?”, she asks with a calm demeanor that gives nothing of her intentions away; she stays just a few feet in the door with her arms crossed. 

“Certainly not a good wake up”, he responds flatly, flexing against the restraints pointedly.

Something in her eyes changes to briefly amused and hopeful.

“Just so you know, those bindings won't break, you can struggle all you want”, she says as if this is not the first time she’s had someone strapped down, “The walls are soundproof as well. The IV is for fluids to keep you alive.”

“Wow, you’ve got this torture set up down pat. You wanna get started then?”, he tries for cocky, but it comes out a bit dry.

The amusement in her expression is replaced with a soft mournful guilt.

“This needs to happen, but I'm sorry for it anyway”, she says softly.

“Pretty sure you could just let me go”, he chances. 

It earns him a small sad smile.

She takes a deep steading breath and asks, “What’s your name?”

He blinks. That's not what he was expecting. 

_My name?_

For a second he braces for a spike of pain, for the headache. It doesn't come. Instead, for a second, he's completely empty. What _is_ his name?

“Think,” she says gently, “What’s your name?”

“My name is-"

_“CC-2224, sir”_

_“It’s alright to give me your actual name, if you have one.”_

Wait...

_“Cody, sir.”_

Stars above...no. No, no...

_“You gonna let them talk like that, Kote?”_

No, please. 

_“Ah ha, Cody!”_

Oh Force.

“No…”, he gasps. 

He looks up sharply at the orange woman.

He can't breath, this can't be happening. _What is happening?_

"Please", he breathes, knowing that if he speaks any louder it'll come out a scream. 

He feels like he's going to shatter apart. His host looks impossibly sad. She takes a breath like she's the one about to break, not him. Him. _Me… I'm-_ He's about to break. 

"Stay strong, Cody...", and with that she leaves him to fall to pieces alone, but he hardly notices. 

Images and memories fly through him so fast he has a hard time focusing. There's so much that his heart is trying to remind him of. There's so much that has been suppressed and hidden within his own mind. He tries to solidify the images and memories, to slow his racing mind enough to understand what is happening. _Think. What's the last thing that happened?_

" _It's ok, Kote. This isn't you."_

The mission, the rebel camp. The clone with the flames on his neck.

 _Oh Force, Torch!_ The clone at the rebel camp had been Torch. Gods what has he done? He killed a Vode. He killed one of his brothers. The younger trooper had been trying to tell him. He'd recognized Cody right away. That look of happiness had been because he knew Cody and was happy to see him. _I killed him. I executed him_.

A wretched sob echoes around the room. Cody can't stop the torrent of memories. The clone that got dragged away as he begged Cody to not let the officers take him. Cody had just stood there. Cody had done nothing to help the vod in need.

He can't handle this. He wants the memories to stop. Cody tries to yank his hands up. If he can claw through his skull and get to his brain he can rip the visions right out of himself, but the restraints hold strong. How could he be so stupid? How had he been so complacent? The vode being sent to outer rim posts because of headaches, did they actually make it to the outer rim? The clone troopers getting thinned out and separated, ‘reallocated resources’.

 _"No wonder the Empire started phasing you and your useless brothers out as soon as they could”, sneered the stormtrooper aiming their blaster at his head_.

Phased out. They were getting rid of the clones. Cody let's out another, louder sob. He can't catch his breath. They were getting rid of the clones and replacing them with nat-born soldiers. He tries to move to get up. He needs to move, needs to pace, needs to run. If he stays here his thoughts will eat him alive. After everything the clones had been through, after everything they sacrificed, how could the Empire just cast them out like they were nothing? Disposable resources. They were not just another kind of product to be used and then cast aside when they were burnt out. _How could this be allowed to happen? The Jedi would nev_ -

_His comm beeps an incoming transmission, a hooded figure and a slithering voice saying, “Commander Cody. The time has come. Execute Order 66.”_

_For a heartbeat, there's excruciating panic and pain. No what's happening? What's going on? For a heartbeat he realizes. Rex, Fives, they had been right. Something inside the clones is wrong. For a heartbeat he fights. I'm strong. I won't let this happen. This can't happen. But he can't, he can feel the darkness closing in. All around him there's a crushing presence that feels like it's going to break his bones. For a heartbeat he wants to scream, no please no someone help, but then-_

_Good soldiers follow orders._

_He's lost. He doesn't know who he is, where he is, or what he's supposed to be doing apart from 'good soldiers follow orders'. CC-2224 is a good soldier. He gives the order for the cannon to fire and watches as the beast and its rider fall._

"No…", Cody says as he struggles against the restraints.

"No. No!", he screams.

He screams so loud it leaves his throat raw and his ears ringing.

_The screech of the varactyl as it fell, it’s rider a small speck beside it. The water splashing as it consumed the fallen traitor-Jedi…_

No...

 _Obi-Wan_. 

He killed Obi-Wan. He killed his Jedi. The man had been, had meant, so much to him and Cody had given the order. Cody betrayed his General. _What have I done?_ He should have eaten his blaster. He should have thrown himself from the cliff. 

Cody screams and struggles. He tastes blood. There's blood and tears and mucus running down his face. Cody doesn't really register what's happening outside of his own racing, raging, morning thoughts. He screams and roars and cries out and struggles until there's nothing left in him that can make noise and his body is so sore he can hardly move. His voice leaves him. The tears keep falling. He'll cry till he manages to drown himself. The memories keep coming. _What have I done?_ He tries to break the restraints, tries to get free while he screams silently, because there has to be something in this room. There has to be something in this room that he can use.

_What have I done?_

Cody killed Obi-Wan. Cody didn't help his brothers. Cody killed Torch. Cody couldn't fight the Sith forsaken mind control chip. 

_I wasn't strong enough._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read the tags! Things could be triggering; you have been warned. I tried my best with the Mando’a translations.

Cody's not sure how long he screams or cries, even after his voice goes silent and his tears dry up. He's dying inside. His heart's broken and his mind is full of darkness and pain. Memories that had been distorted by the inhibitor chip are now clear and the realizations of everything he has done, everything he didn't do, is tearing him apart. He wants them to go away. He wants this all to stop.  _ What have I done? _

The door hisses open and in walks his host. She looks weary until she spots him where she left him; now limp in the restraints and gazing at the ceiling with a blank stare. Cody wonders if he looks as empty and broken as he feels.

"Finally quiet I see. How are you feeling?", she asks, stepping up next to the bed.

He doesn't answer her. He can't. How can he begin to express how much pain he's in? How do you explain that your heart and soul are being torn from you, memory by agonizing memory? Besides, he'd screamed his throat raw and bloody and Cody imagines he may have damaged his voice box. Something in his face must shift enough that his dissatisfaction at her question shows. She chuckles and pulls a stool from under the bed to sit on.

"My name is Maz. I understand how much pain you must be in right now”, she says gently, like she's talking to a spooked child.

It's the same tone Cody used with cadets and brothers when they'd needed comfort from nightmares or the world around them. At least it had been, before the order, before the chip, before he betrayed everything that meant something to him. Maz breathes steadily like her calm will affect him. It hurts because it reminds him of something similar Obi-Gener-Keno-...the Jedi had done a few times and Cody had done often to help stressed vode.

"You can't talk back, I imagine, after all that screaming, so I'm going to say this now. Whatever you've done under the orders of the Empire, it wasn't you. You had no control and there is nothing you could have done to fight it with that chip in your head."

_ If I couldn't fight it then I should have ended it _ , he thinks savagely. That must show on his face because Maz sighs.

"From what we can tell, the chips are behavioral inhibitors and alter brain connectivity and cognitive understanding against emotional response. When it was activated you ceased being yourself and became an empty shell controlled by the Empire. It wasn't you."

Cody shakes his head as best he can. Nothing will change what he did, and didn't do. His brothers.. Obi-Gen-Keno-the Jedi…  _ My family… _ Cody feels a tear run down his cheek. Apparently the IV has replenished his body enough he can cry again.  _ Karking great _ .

"You've coughed up a good deal of blood. Is it alright for the medic to come look at your throat and check you over?", Maz asks.

It hurts to move, but Cody turns his head to her finally and raises an eyebrow. Why would she ask if he was ok with it? He's strapped down to a slab in her territory. There's been nothing to show that the people here mean him harm, the opposite really, but what did his opinion matter? Angry, hurt, and empty,  _ Do I have a choice? _ , he hopes his face asks.

She's looking at him with her large eyes like she may know how he's feeling. Compassion and understanding mixed with a sort of respectful and empathetic pain.  _ She understands _ .

"You have had everything that makes you who you are stripped away from you. Your freedom, your name, and your individuality were all stolen from you without your knowledge or consent. We've removed the inhibitor and mean to give yourself back to you. You've been through enough, Cody. It's your choice."

_ My choice?, _ He wants to ask. He shouldn't get a choice in anything, least of all having a medic make him better. Cody feels more tears starting to fall and looks back to the ceiling. As far as he's concerned they should put him down. 

"You need to be strong, Cody", she says with a fierceness Cody is startled by, "You will get through this, but you need to be strong for yourself. You have people that miss you and you have to be strong so that you can see them and help them."

Cody looks back to Maz with wide eyes. What is she talking about? No one should miss him. There is no one to miss him. There is no reason to keep being strong. He's not strong.  _ I’m not strong enough- _

_ “Gar cuyir kovid, Kote.” (“You are strong, Kote.”) _

_ “You are strong. You have to keep being strong." _

_ "Cody. Kote, vod! You're stronger than this. Fight!" _

Cody lets out a sob he hadn't realized was trying to claw its way out of him. He doesn't feel like he deserves to be alive, after everything he's done, but… He's been strong for so long for so many reasons, he's helped the people he cared about be strong, he's told them to be strong. It would be a disservice to them to give up and stop… Cody isn't strong now, but he will be, he'll prove he can be stronger and better. Apparently there are still people he needs to be strong for. Maz sees his resolve and smiles.

"We have a lot to talk about, but that can all wait. For now, how about that medic, hm?", there's pride in her voice. 

Cody takes a deep breath. His throat stings, his head hurts, body sore from struggling and fighting against the restraints. He thinks he'd still go for a blaster or blade if one was presented to him. Cody hates himself. All the years of being a stubborn di'kut and refusing to give up are kicking in though. He'll get through this so he can find out what Maz means by ‘people that miss him’. Another steadying breath and he looks to Maz. He knows she sees his resolve because her smile grows and she goes to poke her head out of the door.

"Someone come take a look at this bucket and get him cleaned up."

\---

Having the medics looking him over and then having the IV removed is a bit of a blur. Cody eventually finds himself sitting on the edge of the bed with a cup of hot med-tea in his hands that's going cold. He's doing his best to settle his thoughts so they don't paralyze him. Cody still hates himself, but he’s never been one to give up and he’s determined to not break that trend now. Maz had left when the medics came in to look him over, but she steps back in now with a young human girl who is carrying a stack of folded clothes.

“How are you feeling, Commander?”, askes the girl and Cody recognizes her voice as the girl, Izzy, that was on the ship that brought him in.

“Alive. And it’s just Cody”, he answers with a painful sounding rasp; he hasn’t been a Commander in a long time and he certainly isn’t deserving of the title now. 

His throat is still sore, but the tea the medics had given him is helping.

“That’s good to hear, just Cody”, Izzy smiles and holds out the clothes, “We thought you might want to change.”

He gives a nod of thanks and takes the clothes. It’s simple pants, undershirt, and long sleeve over shirt, but it's better than the Imperial blacks he’s wearing. The sudden realization that he’s still wearing the blacks that he had on when he murdered Torch has Cody’s gut clenching and teeth grinding. He’s suddenly desperate to get changed. Maz sees it in his face as she puts a hand on Izzy’s arm.

“Why don't we let you get cleaned up and changed. The ‘fresher is through that door,” she nods to a door Cody hadn’t even been aware of, “When you’re done, Izzy can show you out and we can get some food in you.”

“Where am I?”, he rasps. 

He wants to ask ‘what is this place and who are all of you?’. He’s desperate to get clean and changed, but habit and instinct also dictates that he finds out where he is. He needs to find some kind of level footing.

“We’re on Takodana. We’ll talk more after you get cleaned up.”

Cody doesn't like it, but accepts that for now and goes to the refresher to get clean and changed. He’s pleasantly surprised to see a water shower. He rips his blacks off and wishes he had a trash chute to throw them down.  _ Or perhaps burn them _ , he thinks as he stares at the Empires symbol that was printed on the chest. Another surge of self hate flows through him and he tosses the old clothes on the floor and steps under the water to get clean. Old habit makes quick work despite how nice the warm water feels on his skin. Cody can't really remember the last time he had a decent water shower. Remembering all of the things he’s done makes him feel sick. He scrubs at his skin till it's red and raw. As much as he wishes he could clean off and wash away all the blood on his hands, there's no physical blood, it’s all in his heart and in his head. When he steps out of the shower and dries off, he can't look at himself in the mirror. Cody doesn't want to see the monster he feels like he’s become. Clean and changed, he taps on his old boots and figures they will have to do for now.

As promised Izzy is waiting for him when he emerges. Her brown braid swinging back and forth as she sways and hums to amuse herself while she waits. Cody clears his throat to get her attention, she's grinning when she turns to him.

“Looking good”, she grins, “feeling better?”

“Guess so”, he agrees quietly.

“Alright, food time”, Izzy heads for the door and Cody follows.

She leads Cody through winding halls and up flights of stairs, talking the entire way. Cody realizes he’s in a much larger compound than he originally thought and the room he had been in had been underground. The first window they pass, Cody stops and looks out over a blue lake and green forest. He’s quick to keep up with his guide though, as she leads him down yet another hallway with a single door at the end. The door opens and Cody is startled to step out into what is most definitely the back of a large cantina. Izzy leads him past tables full of all different sorts of beings, some give them a passing glance, but no one stops them and no one seems too shocked to see a clone walking by.  _ Do they realize I’m a clone?, _ he wonders. Cody is led to a small alcove and a round table with steaming bowls of stew and bench seating. Maz is sitting and talking to a gruff looking male Twi’lek, his burgundy skin weathered and he’s missing the tip off his left lekku. They both look up when Cody and Izzy come up to them.

“Have a seat and eat”, Maz says before Cody can say anything and pushes a bowl of stew to him.

“Where am I? What is this place?”, he asks as he takes a seat. 

Maz gives him a pointed look and then looks even more pointedly at the bowl. Cody growls, but takes a bite. Then realizes how hungry he is, and how good the stew actually is, and starts shoveling food into his mouth.

The Twi’lek grimaces at Cody's rushed eating and says, “‘nother bucket with bad table manners.”

_ Bucket? _

“Be nice Toph”, Izzy scolds mildly from her place next to the Twi’lek, “I'm sure you remember how bad Imp rations were.”

Cody looks up quickly and scans his table mates for any sign of threat, but all he sees is Maz watching him calmly, Izzy sitting next to Toph smiling at Cody, and Toph looking at him with bored disinterest.

“Don't get all twitchy. I was a slave in an Imperial farm colony ‘while before getting out during an attempted transfer uprising”, Toph says evenly.

Cody takes that for what it is and looks to Maz and asks, “another bucket?” 

He dares not hope, but she had said there were people that missed him. 

“Yeah, we call former troopers buckets. It helps when we're in transit in case our transmissions are intercepted”, Izzy sort of explains.

“Right, but he said ‘another’, implying I’m not the first.”

“No, you aren’t”, Maz agrees, she takes a sip of her drink and continues, “After the order to kill the Jedi was given it was chaos. Things have never really settled, but over the last 3 years we, and some of our allies, have managed to help remove the chips from other clone troopers. Some were left for dead when they were wounded in battle, others were rescued by people that had befriended them before. Recently, there have been rumors that the chips started to malfunction, due to age and continued head injuries, that led to some clones deserting and trying to find their way.”

Maz takes a sip of her drink and Cody wants to ask about the other clones, the Vode. He can’t call himself a brother after what he’s done, but the Vode are still his people. He’s unsure if he actually wants to know the names of those that have gotten out; it would make not knowing about the others and if they are dead, missing, or still trapped that much worse.

“Some that we got out still didn't make it”, Izzy says quietly and Cody jerks in his seat.

“What does that mean?”, he snaps. 

Maz gives him a sad level look.

“You're not the first clone we’ve gotten the chip out of. Every single one of them has hated themselves for the things they have done. Some of them were not able to handle it.”

Cody looks down into his half finished stew and feels like the first half may come back up. He can imagine. He knows that feeling all too well; still feels it.

“I’m gonna wager that’s what the restraints are for...”, he hedges hoarsely.

Maz nods sadly and Cody wonders how many vode were lost to their despair because they were not strapped down and given a chance to grieve before someone reminded them they were strong. He decides knowing will not make the heartache and pain any better.

“The last one, before we decided to start using restraints, was the worst”, Izzy breaths, clearly remembering and feeling sad for the lost vod. Cody doesn't want to know any more, but Izzy continues, “He’d been so broken that he’d killed his General, but he called her his ‘runi’ and I think that made it that much worse for him.”

“Bly”, Cody gasps. 

His chest feels tight and his eyes water so fast he gets a little light headed.

_ Force, Bly!  _ The other Commander had loved General Secura so much. Cody knows how Bly must have felt when he realized what he did. Cody pushes his food away and covers his face with both hands.  _ Karking kirfing sithspit. _ Cody knows exactly how Bly felt, before and after order 66. ‘Runi’, meaning soul. General Secura had been Bly’s heart and soul. Cody had felt something similar about his own General during the war, he’d just never admitted it to himself, he still can’t really. He sure as hell never had the guts to admit his feeling to himself, let alone ever say anything, where Bly had found the courage before it all went to hell. 

“That bucket had been the worst for sure, far as reactions go”, Toph says gruffly, “Well, sort of. You’re pretty close, but you’re still alive. So we’ll call him the worst with you being a close second.” 

“His name was Bly!”, Cody snaps at the Twi’lek, angry and offended and hurt, “His General was his world, his bonded. We betrayed the people we loved. We betrayed everything important to us and our pain is not something to be dismissed and made light of.”

Cody realizes that he’s standing and, while he hadn't been yelling, there are people in the closer tables that were looking over at them curiously. Maz waves Cody back to his seat and puts a hand on his arm. Toph actually gives Cody a small look of apology and holds his hands up palms out in a placating gesture.

“Few can even begin to understand the pain you ‘nd your men have gone through. You’re right, it’s not my place to make light like that. It’s just my toxic way of coping with the fact that I help rescue ‘nd rehabilitate Imperial soldiers, I guess.”

Cody supposes he can understand that logic, if Toph was a slave to the Empire for any length of time. Cody remembers seeing how the Empire treated slaves and labor workers, the conditions they were kept in, especially outside of the core systems. One more thing to hate himself for.

But there is one thing to set straight, “I’m not an Imperial soldier.”

He’s a clone trooper of the Grand Army of the Republic. Order 66 turned him into an empty shell, the fleshy droid people used to claim him and his brothers to be; slave to the Empire and the Sith. He is back to himself now though. He is Cody, Kote of the Vode.  _ I am not an Imperial soldier. Not anymore. _

“Not anymore”, Izzy grins at him.

Cody nods and reaches for one of the extra cups of water that he guesses is for him and takes a drink. His heart aches for Bly and the others that did not make it. Cody takes a deep breath and another sip of water.

“So what”, he asks into his cup, “you lot just wander around kidnaping stormtroopers and rescuing the ones that turn up to be clones?”

Toph barks a gruff rude sound, “No one has time for that. The Empire is too vast and even in the beginning it was hard to keep track of where they were sending clones. It’s always been more important trying to get info on how things are run and key players in the new government system anyway. Now with so few clones left among the ranks, if we stumble upon one during a mission, yay, but otherwise it’s all just luck.”

“Stop being mean Toph. Cody, there are some people who purposefully are trying to find and rescue clones. Your name has been at the top of the list since the beginning, but Toph is right about it being hard to get clones out. Especially ones like you, who were important enough the Empire kept you dug in deep and always just out of reach.”

Cody stares at Izzy. He hears the other words, but all he can focus on is that there is a list.

“What list?”

The table is quiet for a minute and Izzy kind of shrinks a little.

“What list?”, Cody demands.

“It’s been agreed that any clone trooper we can get out, we do so”, Maz murmurs, “But, there is an understanding that some are a bit more important and if they come on someone's radar, we get them out fast. Like Izzy said, your name has been at the top of that list a long time.”

Izzy nods and adds on, “We were running transport for Torch and his team while they were running a supply relief mission. We were surprised when he opened the line on his emergency comm beacon. We heard him say your name and everything else and realized we had to get you out.”

At Torches' name Cody's body seizes up and for a second he can't breathe. Then the anger floods in.

“You heard everything, but didn’t come soon enough to keep me from murdering him?”, he doesn’t yell at the young girl, but it’s a near thing.

“Watch how you talk to her”, Toph snaps back, putting a protective arm over Izzy’s shoulder, “We got there as fast as we could. Torch was dead and you’re a top of the list bucket. We got you out, be grateful.”

_ Grateful…? _ A part of Cody still wishes they’d killed him instead.

“Whose list? Where are these orders coming from?”, he asks instead of letting his thoughts spiral.

“There are a great many people that despise the Empire and want to see it fall”, Maz says leaning close over the table like this is the most important thing to be said and kept secret.

That doesn't answer the question. Frustrated Cody glowers at her. He’s worked for a specter running the Empire for almost 3 years. He doesn't like not knowing who has a list, even mentally, of clone names.

“Who started the list?”, Cody growls, he thinks about it a second and changes lanes with a wave of his hand, “You know what, nevermind that for now. You say you’ve helped a bunch of clones get out, but I’m the only one I see here. Where are the others? Who else got out?”

Family first. Faceless organization trying to overthrow the Empire later.  _ Haatyc or’arue jate’shya ori’sol aru’ike nuhaatyc. _ ‘Better one big enemy that you can see than many small ones that you can’t’. It’s a Mandalorian proverb that Jango had taught them. It doesn't really fit this situation, but it pops in Cody’s head and strikes a cord in him anyway. He wonders if it means something that those words are what is mind supplies in this moment.

Then again… 

"Hold up, how did you even know about the mind control chip? Who started getting clones out?"

“Oddly enough, those are all along the same line”, Toph says cryptically and clearly delights in the way Cody is visibly seconds away from throttling the Twi’lek.

Maz clears her throat and her gaze sweeps the rest of the cantina. She's calculating and considering her options and how much info to give, while surveying the area for possible threats listening in. Cody knows the look of a scout, a soldier, working out their surroundings. His respect for her rises. When her eyes swing back to Cody something tells him he’s about to hear the brunt of it.

“Minutes after the Chancellor gave the order to kill the Jedi, he had them and anyone that helped them labeled a traitor. I’m sure you're aware of that. Shortly after he declared himself Emperor, small groups all over the galaxy started popping up. People that were not willing to accept the Empire and their overreaching rule. Rebels and resistance fighters and people willing to help them. High profile people and those from smaller areas."

Maz gives him a meaningful look and Cody's mind supplies a number of senators and dignitaries that are likely the high profile help.

"That still doesn't really answer any of my questions", Cody says evenly. 

He wants to find the Vode that got out. He wants to know if certain ones got out or if he needs to join the hunt for them.

"I thought you were more patient than this", Maz scolds before taking mercy on him, "a young Jedi and a clone that escaped the initial order. They helped with getting things organized and started, along with some of that high profile help."

Cody's brain stutters before kicking into overdrive.  _ Young Jedi and a clone? _

"They were intent on getting certain clones free and safe guarding any allies the Jedi originally had. They aren't as hands on anymore now that there's more people joining the cause everyday. They're the ones that made the list, with you right at the top”, Izzy adds in.

Toph leans forward and starts talking about other rebels and “The Cause”. How they need as many good fighters as they can get. Izzy is simultaneously whispering about supply chains to outer rim territories that the Empire isn't concerned with. It’s all things that Cody is only hearing because he was trained and raised as a soldier to always pay attention. He’s having a hard time caring though. This all just sounds like the warm up to another war and he’s lost enough family and friends in the last one. As much as he hates it though, he understands. The Empire must fall. The Emperor must be killed. “The Cause” needs all the help it can get, but Cody's brain is still stuck on the young Jedi and clone that technically started all of this.

If a young Jedi got out, how many more may have been missed or escaped the first culling? The Jedi had been just as smart, strong, and cunning as any warrior. Of course some of them were able to escape. A single clone, though. That severely narrows it down, but offers up its own complications. After the incident with Fives, everyone was made to believe it was all nothing to worry about, but there were vode that had dug for more. Cody knows several off the top of his head that would have been able to find out what was going on and get their chips out in time. Cody knows the names, but he’s afraid of being wrong and being that much more broken. To ask and then be told they didn't make it. He’s been staring at Maz while he thinks and when he focuses back on her he has to fight to get the words out.

“The Jedi and clone? Who..?”

Maz smiles and leans even closer to him, whispers, “A Togruta and a Captain. Their ship went down on the way back from Mandalore and they were the only survivors.”

Rex. Ahsoka.

_ Rex... _

Cody bows his head again over his cup and can do nothing but breathe for a few minutes.  _ Rex got out. _ Of course he did. He’d been on edge since Fives and of course Rex would have felt Order 66 and known. Of course Rex was stronger than Cody for being able to fight it long enough to not kill his Jedi. With a deep steadying breath Cody sits back up.

_ Rex… _ Cody’s chest aches with a longing he’d forgotten it was possible to feel.

“Where are they now?”

“As she said, they aren't hands on anymore. The captain comes and goes sporadically at best. We haven't really heard from him in a while”, Izzy says.

“I want to see them. I need to see them”, Cody says and shakes his head. 

He needs to say he’s sorry. For so much… Rex’s face flashes through his mind and Cody’s heart clenches painfully. He and Rex had always been so much more for each other, beyond just being Vode. Their bond and love for each other so much more than words could ever describe. Cody desperately hopes that hasn’t changed after the last three years. He’s not sure if he’d be able to take it otherwise.

Toph huffs and levels Cody with a rather aggressive stare, “Look”, he says, “You’re out now, but there is still a fight here. I get you wanna see your friends, but a soldier like you is needed right now. There’s time for reunions later.”

_ “I always thought there would be more time”, Boil lamented, leaning even more into Cody _ .

_ We always thought there would be more time _ , Cody thinks. He always thought there would be more time. That there would be a time after the war when his brothers could be free and find their place to belong. That there would be a better time than in the middle of a war to accept his own feelings and tell those he cared for how he really felt.

“No”, Cody breaths before stealing himself and glaring right back at Toph, “I wasted too much thinking there was always more time. That stops now. Where’s Rex?”

“What, no concern for the Jedi? Maybe they didn't get all of that chip out.”

Oh, Cody’s seconds from jumping this table and killing this kirfhead dead.

“Ahsoka was a good friend, a sister. She meant a lot to all of us. Rex is my brother and we saved each other more times than you can count and mean more to each other than you could possibly imagine. If you tell them you got me out, they'll want to see me”, Cody snarls quietly.

Toph opens his mouth to respond with what Cody  _ knows _ is going to start a fight, when Maz tosses a spoon at the Twi’leks face. 

“That’s enough, Toph.”

Maz stands and comes to Cody’s side, “I’ll put it out on the wire. We’ll see if we can get you a meeting. In the meantime, rest, stay strong.”

Cody nods in thanks to Maz as she leaves them.  _ Force, please let this work. _

\---

Cody spends a bit more time talking to Izzy in the cantina. Toph left not long after Maz, glaring at Cody as he marched off. Izzy tells him of how she was a slave in the Imperial guard house at the farm where Toph was a work slave. They escaped together and Toph took it upon himself to be a protective father figure to her. Cody can hear how grateful she is. Toph may be rude and rough around the edges, but the way Izzy talks it’s clear that she’s survived a lot thanks to the Twi’lek. Cody does his best to let go of his dislike for the Twi’lek in the face of this understanding. Izzy gives him a run down on the resistance so far and talks about how they’ve been causing trouble for the Empire up to this point. It’s good information and Cody starts to file it all into the part of his brain reserved for war strategy. He also gets info on some of the clones that have been rescued.

Rex, obviously, couldn't leave his brothers trapped. From what Izzy is aware of, Rex was personally able to get Wolffe, Boost, Boil, and Torch out. Though likely more than that. Apparently Rex went on a bit of a spree those first few months. She comments that she knows Wolffe rescued 3 clones named Bones, Sinker, and Lane. Hearing Bones and Boil were rescued, sets Cody’s good mood buzzing. Cody wonders how bad it was with Wolffe, when he woke up realizing what he had done. A part of Cody hurts on Wolffe’s behalf. General Plo had meant a great deal to the Pack. He imagines Wolffe was able to get a good number of his Pack free once he was on his feet. He fights down the sick feeling at hearing Torch’s name. Izzy is kind enough to give him a minute of silence before continuing on. She’s not fully up on all of the clones that got out other than that, and the ones that she and Toph helped with, but she tells Cody that there are about 80, less than a hundred, that she and the resistance are aware of. The number surprises and saddens Cody. So few in comparison to how many there are,  _ had been _ , but that’s a rather large number when considering they were freed by a ragtag disjointed band calling themselves a resistance. Not surprisingly, the Vode agreed to stay in the fight and help.

“There’s a home base that most of them stay at unless they’re running a mission. You boys clearly like sticking together and they wanted their own place, but they all wanted to help in some way. They needed something to do, I think.”

Cody tells her that they were not designed for sitting idle. The Vode are soldiers, warriors, and they need something to do or it will drive them mad. Also, Cody figures that when they woke up free thinking again, most of the Vode likely wanted to make things right and joining the fight against the Empire is certainly a way to start to do that.

Izzy never stops talking, even when she escorts Cody to a room that she says he can use to rest in while he waits. Thankfully it’s not the med room he’d woken up in and thankfully this bed doesn't have any restraints on it. It’s just a small cot in a small room with an old style wooden swing door and a single window looking out over the lake. 

Izzy is still talking, sitting on the floor when Cody realizes he can hardly hold his eyes open. When he tells her he needs quiet to actually achieve the rest that she and Maz say he needs, Izzy just grins and wishes him a peaceful rest before leaving him to it. He’s out the second his head hits the pillow.

\---

Cody wakes up screaming. His throat hurts and for a second just before he’s fully up, he panics.  _ What if the nat-borns heard? _ What if they out him to the officers? He’ll be sent to some back alley drop zone to waste away. He forces himself to calm and looks around to check that he hasn't woken up any of his bunkmates, but only sees stone walls. That’s when it hits him.

Torch, getting captured, getting the chip out, waking up himself again... Everything that happened before all of that.

Cody sits at the edge of the cot with his face in his hands trying to get his breathing under control. Force, how he hates himself. He’s crying in gulping heaving sobs that just won't stop. He’s still trying to get the last of the sobs out of his chest when there’s a faint knock on his door. It cracks open to reveal Izzy, who looks worried and sad.

“Cody?”, she asks with a gentle uncertainty.

“Hey kid”, he says wetly and has to clear his throat; he furiously wipes his face before looking back up at her.

“I'm not a kid. I’m 16 standard”, she huffs while coming into the room and sitting on the floor a few feet from Cody's cot. 

She sits with her back against the wall and her body angled towards the door. She's looking and talking to Cody, but her body language is that of someone used to bolting for the exit. Cody’s reminded of how she explained where she came from, then joining a resistance, and his hatred for the Empire spikes.  _ Look at what they did to this poor girl. Look at what they did to me _ .

They sit in silence for only a few seconds when the door opens more fully and in steps Toph. He doesn't have a weapon, but he’s tense like he expects to find Izzy in trouble or Cody looking for a fight. It makes Cody sick to his stomach.

“We’re all good here Toph”, Izzy smiles, “Cody just had a bad dream.”

“Well, I can imagine he’s got a lot of bones in his head.”

_ Bones in my head? _ That’s a way of putting it that Cody’s never heard before.

Toph leans against the wall near the door and gives Cody an assessing look. Cody’s too tired and wrung out to feel offended or ogled. He’s surprised when the Twi’lek instead speaks with a more kind tone. It’s still gruff, but it’s softer and kinder in an odd way.

“The bones will always be there. You’ve gotta find a way to deal with them so they don't take you down. If you bury them it just makes it worse.”

Cody nods and looks down at his hands in his lap. It’s an odd metaphor, but he understands the sentiment.

“Anything you wanna talk about?”, Izzy asks. 

Cody shakes his head so hard and fast he feels like he’s giving himself whiplash. He appreciates the kind gesture of her being willing to listen, but he couldn't even begin to explain how he’s feeling and what was in his dreams.  _ Bones in my head. _ He has blood and darkness and screaming in his head. Asleep and awake.

“It’s ok, we understand”, Toph murmurs, still oddly kind, “It’s about time for breakfast anyway. If you're hungry.” 

With that he motions for Izzy and walks out the door. 

Izzy stands but doesn't leave. She’s looking at Cody with sad eyes that don't belong on someone so young. There’s also a calculating look to her expression that doesn't make sense until she speaks. Her voice is strong and solid in a way that almost feels commanding.

“Come on Cody, lets get some food.”

He shakes his head no. He doesn't want food, despite his stomach feeling empty. Every part of him still hurts from the memories and he feels like he doesn't deserve any kindness, least of all breakfast. His mental self flagellation must be obvious to Izzy.

“I'm not gonna leave you alone. No one that’s gone through what you have should be by themselves...and we’ve learned the hard way.”

Cody thinks of Bly and the other clones that were left with their thoughts right after waking up and couldn't handle it. Couldn't handle what they'd done. Cody can hardly handle what he’s done.

“I'm fine”, he lies.

“Well then, we’ll both be fine right here”, Izzy says stubbornly and goes to sit back down.

Cody growls through clenched teeth. He wants to snap and yell at her to leave him alone, but that wouldn't be fair to her. It’s not her fault he feels this way. It’s not her fault he hates himself. 

“Food will help you get your strength back. You gotta be strong if you wanna help, right?”

_ This girl’s too smart for her own good. _

“Fine”, he grumbles as he stands.

Izzy bounces up and to the door with a happy shout. Cody has a brief thought of closing the door behind her and locking her out so he can wallow on his own a bit more. Then he sees that the door has no locking mechanism and decides it’s not worth the trouble. He follows Izzy back to the cantina where breakfast is being served to anyone that ended up staying the night in Maz’s castle.

\---

Over breakfast Cody eats and stays quiet. Izzy talks enough for him and the other patrons that are scattered around the cantina at such an early hour. Toph keeps an eye on her as she bounces from person to person, talking to them like she’s known them forever. Her chattiness kind of reminds Cody a bit of Fives, maybe even more like Wooley. That makes his gut clench and he’s glad he was almost done with his food. He’s lost his appetite. Maz comes up to him from behind the bar just as he's pushing his plate away.

“I’ve got you a meeting.”

It stops Cody's heart for a second. He randomly wants to cry again.

“We have to keep things tight-lipped and close to the vest at all times these days, so they don't know we’ve gotten you, specifically, out. As far as anyone in the resistance or listening in is aware, we’ve got a new recruit that has special internal knowledge of the Empire. Rex has agreed to meet you at a space port on Jakku.”

“All of that and you’re trying to keep things tight-lipped?”, Cody asks; that was a lot of info to have on the airwaves.

“We did it in code”, Maz says flatly, looking at Cody like she’d very much like to hit him over the head.

“Jakku?”, Toph butts in, “That’s a bit close to the core for a meet up.”

“Close, but not currently under heavy Imperial rule”, Maz slides a navigation chip across the bar to Cody, “That will lead you true. And it’s the only one so don't lose it.”

Cody takes the info chip and holds it to his chest. This will get him to Rex. His vod. Even if for some reason Rex tells him to kark off and wants nothing to do with him, Cody at least wants to see his vod’ika. Force how he misses him. He misses all of his brothers, but Rex has always been a different sort of special. Once he puts eyes on Rex he can work on getting to where the rest of the Vode are, just to know they are ok. To know that this is real. Izzy wouldn't tell him where “home base” is and he expects no one is really excited about spreading that sort of information around willy nilly.  _ Find Rex. Then find out how to best help _ . Cody feels a bit of tension uncoil from around his heart.

“We’ll give you a ride”, Toph says. 

It surprises Cody and he gives the Twi’lek a skeptical look.

“Look”, Toph huffs harshly, “The sooner we get you settled the sooner she’ll stop bugging me to be nice to you”, he hooks a thumb over his shoulder to where Izzy is talking the ear off a startled looking Gungan, “Nevermind the fact that hopefully we can put you to work once you get your feet moving and those bones unearthed.”

Cody’s fairly certain he knows what Toph means. He wants Cody to join the fight against the Empire. 

“After I find my people. We’ll see what happens after that.”

Maz hums and looks at him like she wants to say something else. Cody gets the feeling whatever she wants to say is important. He’s not sure how he knows, but her expression makes him think of how Obi-General Keno-the Jedi used to look when he-they were trying to do their Force mind tricks. Like they could find the answers they were looking for by staring at someone long and hard enough. It used to both impress and piss Cody off how accurately it worked, more often than not, depending on if he was the one being stared at.

“We’ll see what happens”, Maz eventually agrees.

“What’s going on?”, Izzy asks, popping up on Cody's left side out of nowhere and Cody has to restrain the instinct to reach for a blaster he doesn't have. 

“We’re getting him to his meet up and then getting lost”, Toph says snappily, “I’m gonna go ready the ship. 20 minutes.” 

He takes the navigation information from Cody and walks off to the main entrance of the cantina. Izzy looks excited and says she's going to go “pack her things”, but she goes right back over to the poor Gungan and starts back up talking.

Maz is still looking at Cody like she’s trying to decide something and expecting the answer to float from his ears. He just raises an eyebrow and waits her out.

“We threw your armor out. I’ve got a spare blaster, though. You’ll need to take at least that. Come one.”

Cody can do little else but follow.

\---

A little less than 20 minutes later and Cody is wearing a blaster in a shoulder holster underneath a brown leather jacket. His dark grey pants are tucked into a pair of used black boots and the grey long sleeve shirt is tucked in at the waist. Maz gives him a duty belt that has several pouches, a few extra charges for the blaster, and a clip for a knife, which she also gives him. Cody hates himself for the brief horrible moment when he's holding the blaster and knife and wonders if it's all even worth it. Something in him thrashes in rebellion to those thoughts and Cody fights to put the blaster in its holster and the knife on his belt.  _ I’m stronger than this _ . Lastly Maz throws a dull black cowl scarf cape looking thing at him and tells him to keep his head and face covered as best he can when out in public. It’s a reminder he doesn't need, but he appreciates the covering. In this moment he’s realizing how much he wishes he had a helmet. Maz walks him back through the cantina, to the main entrance of the castle. Izzy is  _ still _ talking, but stops and moves to join them as they pass.

“Alright then”, Maz says, turning to him at the open doorway; Cody yanks his eyes away from the statue and flags in the entrance courtyard and turns to her.

“Thank you, for...everything”, he says lamely.

“You can pay me back sometime”, Maz grins, “Now go, be strong.”

Again, she looks like she's about to say something else and Cody feels like he’s hanging on the edge of a cliff. Anticipation and uncertainty warring with the desire to know what she has to say. Finally she gives a smile.

“May the Force be with you, Cody.”

_ “It's going to be ok, Kote. Just stay strong” _

_ “Cody, sir.” He wants to give his Mando’a name, Kote. _

_ “Trust the Force, Cody.” _

_ “Gonna take your own advice, Kote?” _

_ “It’s ok, Kote. May the Force be with you.” _

Cody does his very best not to break down again. He takes a deep, wet, tear choked breath and looks out over the entryway. It’s hard to breath and he swallows down a sob that’s threatening to break free.

“You too”, he says as best he can and heads down the steps. 

He needs to get away. He needs to get moving. He needs to get to Rex.

Izzy catches up with him and ends up leading him to a red and grey ship where Toph is waiting, looking annoyed. Cody is only half paying attention, so lost in his thoughts, but he sees Toph go from looking annoyed and ready to start being rude to the odd soft kindness he’d had earlier. When Cody plops himself in a seat aboard the ship and puts his face in his hands he is surprised to pull back and see they're wet.  _ Ah _ , he was crying. Toph goes to the cockpit, which is open and visible, and gets them airborne. Izzy sits across from Cody and is blessedly silent, giving Cody the mental space he needs since they aren't able to give the physical space.

\---

Cody is pulled from his thoughts sometime later when the ship gives a shake and a bottle rolls out from under the seat he's sitting in to hit his foot. He picks it up and frowns down at the bottle of nerf tranquilizer that’s half full. Looking up and finally taking in his surroundings, the ship’s rather compact. The ramp they walked in on is closed, but led right up to the open cargo bay they are in now, about 15 feet from where Cody is sitting to where Izzy is sitting directly across from him looking a bit weary. To his right is a doorway that leads to the cockpit, the door is open and he can see Toph at the helm where it's set down in a slightly lower level, and there’s a second door that's closed that likely leads to crew quarters. The ship is probably a 40-60 footer, tops. Small and good for transport of small groups if you want to fly under the radar. What really catches his attention, more so than the tranq he’s still holding, is a pallet of what looks like explosives with a pile of nylon straps haphazardly laying over it.

“Is that what you had me strapped to?”, he asks, blinking over at Izzy; she has the grace to look mildly remorseful while still grinning.

“You had me strapped down to explosives?!”, he asks again with a bit more heat to his voice.

_ What the kark were they thinking? _

“With nylon straps?”, he looks at the bottle of nerf tranq in his hands and realizes, “Did you have me buzzed on NERF TRANQ?!”

Izzy must reach capacity because she bursts out laughing.

“It’s not funny Izzy. Do you know how dangerous all of this is?” 

He hopes he doesn't sound as freaked out as he feels.

“Relax”, she laughs with a wave, “Remember you aren't the first bucket we’ve brought in.”

_ That’s not really helping any _ , but he just holds up the bottle and asks, “why nerf tranq?”

“You clones run hot and even mind controlled you boys are stubborn as all get out. It’s really the only cheap easily accessible sedative that works and wont bring unwanted attention.”

_ That’s fair. _

“And that?”, he asks with a look back at the pallet of explosives.

Izzy just grins.

\---

Jakku is a hole in the wall planet with hardly anything good about it.

Cody is secretly a bundle of nerves as they come into Niima Outpost.

“Niima landing, this is  _ Render 1 _ , requesting permission to land”, Toph says as he has them glide over the edges of the space port. 

“ _ Render 1 _ , this is Niima landing, permission granted to dock 5. Please have docking payment ready.”

“Dock 5, copy on payment”, Toph says, then switching off the comm growls, “Karking kirffhole ports and their karking docking payments.”

Cody wants to make a snide remark about the Twi’lek getting his lekku chaffed, but he’s too distracted with thoughts of finally getting to see Rex. He misses his brother so much. Hopefully Rex will forgive him for all that he’s done.  _ Force, please _ . Cody isn't sure what he’d do if Rex rejected him; nothing good he imagines. There’s really only one other person that Cody has ever feared rejection from like this, knowing that if they sent him away or never wanted to see him again a part of Cody would die. That other person is gone though.  _ I had him shot down. I betrayed him _ . Cody doesn't deserve to even think the name. No, Rex is the one that now holds what’s left of Cody’s soul. Even if other vod were to accept and welcome Cody back, to not have Rex’s approval would sting in the worst way.

The ship lands and before they step down the ramp Cody throws his cape hood up and pulls the cowl over the bottom half of his face. He doesn't bother hiding the fact that he has a blaster in a place like Niima Outpost. Toph gives Izzy a nudge towards Cody and tells her to keep tight to the bucket. With a nervous look Izzy grabs Cody’s arm. 

_ Nothings gonna happen to you kid _ , Cody thinks with a sudden and startling protectiveness. He’s honestly a bit surprised that Toph would put Izzy in his charge, but perhaps the gruff rude Twi’lek sees the merit in having a former trooper protecting the person that is practically his child. Then again, maybe Toph just wants quiet. True to form, Izzy starts talking the second they step off the ship.

Cody doesn't like Niima Outpost for the fact that it is so open and clearly a place for the unsavory. What he does like, is that he sees no sign of the Empire or Imperial occupation. Most of the outpost is tents and pop up structures, with only a few actual hard standing buildings made from sand plaster and stone. One of the structures is a bar canteen that has seen some rough days set on the other side of the outpost from where they landed. Toph leads them through the streets and around a makeshift marketplace. Izzy gets distracted by something shiny at a booth and Cody has to physically pick her up around the waist and carry her a few steps before putting her back down to continue the walk.

“Don’t be nervous”, Izzy says casually. 

She says it like she wasn't just chattering about the effects of reflected light from gemstones on the brain, while gazing longingly at a jewelry booth.

“I'm not”, Cody snaps back before catching himself; he goes to apologize, but Izzy waves him off.

“Rex is more than just a fellow clone trooper to you, right?”, she asks, head turning to keep an eye on something at another booth as they pass.

_ More than just a fellow clone... _ Cody has no idea how to explain to this poor girl how so much more than that it is.

“He’s my alitt, my family. We are brothers and we are Vode.” 

_ At least I hope so _ , he wants to add. Still, even that isn't enough to express how much Rex is to him, what they are to each other; how deep his love and bond with Rex is. 

Cody is so very terrified that after everything, Rex won't just not want to see him, but will tell Cody he’s not part of the Vode anymore. Cody prays to every deity, spirit, Force, and whatever else he can, that Rex won't break their bond.

“I don't really understand the deeper meaning, but I know it’s important. I’ve heard the others talk similar”, she leans a bit more into Cody like she's trying to bully calm and positivity into him, “I’m gonna wager you mean just as much to him as he does to you. If I’ve learned one thing about you clones, you boys value those you call family above all else.”

Cody hates how he feels like he’s going to start crying at the drop of hat these days. Still, he appreciates Izzy's attempts and leans into her as well. It earns him a megawatt smile before he has to pull her back down the road away from a booth selling fine fabrics in outrageously bright colors.

They get to the bar with little fuss and Toph takes them right in. It’s just the kind of horrid watering hole stained in piss and bad ideas that Cody knew it would be. Instinct has him checking exits and for potential targets or threats. Oddly enough, it also has him pulling Izzy closer and more in front of him so he can keep an eye on her. A little unsettlingly, Izzy has gone quiet.

“You two stay here. I’ll let our contact know we're here”, Toph says before stepping away.

Cody and Izzy lean against the wall in a small corner and they both take in the people and beings around them.

“You’re quiet”, Cody remarks just to have something to do other than dwell on his rapidly downward spiraling thoughts.

“I was trying to give you the chance to freak out quietly on your own”, Izzy huffs back with fake annoyance.

“I appreciate that”, he can't help but chuckle, he plucks up the courage and admits, “Don't really want to be alone in my head right now though.”

Izzy gives him a sad smile of understanding.

“Bones in your head. That’s what Toph calls bad thoughts and stuff like that. He’s right in saying you shouldn't try to bury them. Things are better when you talk them out.”

Cody shakes his head. He’s not sure how to express how he feels or how bad his bones are.

_ I betrayed the Vode. _

_ I betrayed Ob-Gener-Keno-...the Jedi. _

_ I betrayed my family. _

_ I wasn’t strong enough. _

"It's hard", he says after a minute. 

He's not sure what else to say. It seems to be enough for his companion though. She smiles and goes to say something when Toph steps back up to them.

"This way", he says as he turns to lead them to the back exit.

"Where's Rex? I thought we were meeting here”, Cody says.

"The resistance isn't gonna chance one of their best fighters on some hearsay new recruit in the middle of a Niima kirfhole. Even with Maz being the informant."

Cody supposes that's fair and follows the Twi'lek through a back door, down a hallway, out another door, to outside behind the bar and the adjacent building. There's 3 figures dressed in dull layers and almost fully covered. They're standing next to speeder bikes talking quietly to each other, but stop when Toph, Cody, and Izzy step out towards them. Cody's not sure how much anticipation he can take. His heart's racing and he feels light headed. He's so close to seeing Rex and every second it takes is chafing his nerves.

One of the 3 figures steps forward to meet them. They're wearing goggles and when they speak their voice is modulated. 

"Who is this new recruit you've brought us?"

"We're here to meet the captain. If one of you isn't him then you best point us in the right direction", Toph says coolly.

"Who is the new recruit with this promised special information?", asks the figure again.

There's a standoff, a quiet for what feels like hours and Cody can't take it anymore. He steps up right next to Toph and pulls his hood and cowl completely off.

All three figures shift in surprise. One still at the speeder bikes has to lean on said speeder like they're about to fall over.

"Cody…?", the one leaning on the speeder says faintly. 

His voice is modulated but something in Cody pulses with hope. Cody steps forward, but the closest figure holds up a hand to stop him.

"When was your chip removed?"

Cody falters. He's not actually sure how long it's been. How long was he strapped to that med bed screaming?

"Three days, four at the most. Not sure how long the old lady had me strapped down", he admits, "she let me scream until I broke my voice box."

The figure that had been leaning on the speeder stagers forward, "What's your name?"

Cody's name has already been said, but he knows what this request means.

"I am Kote, of the Vode."

Cody is for any non-Vode that cares to ask. Kote is for Vode and family. He’ll never go by his numbers again.

The figure makes a choked noise and in the next breath they're yanking off their hood and mask. Cody has only a brief moment to see a face like his own and blonde hair before he's being wrapped up in his brother's arms.

_ Rex _ .

Cody hauls his vod closer and they burrow into one another. They're both shaking like leaves in a storm. Cody just tightens his hold.

_ Rex _ .

"Rex’ika", he breathes.

Rex tightens his hold in the space that Cody's inhale provided. It's enough to spark a raspy chuckle from Cody. He can't hold back much longer.  _ Force _ .

"Kote. Ner Kote." (“My Kote”)

At that Cody breaks and he can't stop the sob that slips out. Or the next. Rex holds him through it.

"Rex. I killed him, I gave the order. Ner jetti (my Jedi). I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't fight it. Our brothers. I wasn't strong enough."

"Shh, Kote. It wasn't you. It's not your fault", Rex whispers through his own tears, "It wasn't you."

Cody hates himself, but with Rex right here holding him it's not as bad. He presses his face into Rex’s neck and breaths him in. He smells just like Cody remembers; warm rain and something electric. Cody feels a part of himself shift closer to being in place once again. It takes everything he has not to kiss Rex.  _ Force, how I’ve missed him. _ Rex and Cody hold each other another few minutes when the third figure speaks up.

"We shouldn't linger in the open too much longer."

Rex and Cody pull back but don't let go of each other. Cody has half a mind to hold his vods hand like they did when they were cadets. Anything to keep reminding him that Rex is here and not a figment of his imagination that will disappear with the wind. Rex keeps a hand on Cody's shoulder looking like he feels the same.

"You two are good to go. I've got this", Rex tells his companions. 

They nod and mount two of the speeder bikes and are off without another word. Cody takes the chance to look Rex over. He hasn't changed much. His face is a bit older, like Cody's, and his blonde hair is a bit longer, not the short buzz cut he used to sport. He's actually got a little curl at his hairline that Cody has the sudden urge to tug. He’s wearing bulky clothing and robes, but he’s still the same handsome warrior Cody remembers.

"Thank you, for getting him out", Rex says, looking to Toph.

Toph and Izzy are both looking varying degrees of amused.

"Rex, I...Torch", Cody's not sure if Rex knows.

"I know vod. I heard."

"I murdered him", Cody says miserably.

"It wasn't you Cody. It wasn't your fault", Rex says with a shake of his head. 

He sounds like he's said it a lot. Cody wonders how many times Rex has to remind other vode, and himself, of that.

"Let's get back inside, yeah?", Toph suggests.

Toph and Izzy turn to lead the way back into the bar. Cody and Rex squeeze down the hall and through the doors as best they can. They can't let go of each other. A shoulder, an arm, kark it all if they look silly. Cody's back with Rex and that's what matters right now. They find a table that's relatively private and take their seats; Toph and Izzy on one side of the booth with Cody and Rex smushed together on the other. The waiter takes their order and brings their drinks back before anyone says anything. Rex has his arm linked through Cody's and anytime Cody shifts Rex tenses his grip. Cody has no intention of going anywhere; not without Rex.

"I missed you, Cody", Rex says the second the droid leaves them.

"Missed you, Rex."

"You...its…", Rex takes a sip of his drink and tries again, "I tried so hard to get you out right after, but they'd moved you out too fast and after that it was like chasing smoke. I'm sad about Torch, but I'm so glad they got you out. It's been too long. I'm… I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up."

Cody presses the side of his head to Rex's, temple to chin. He understands, but he's not sure it would have been any less bad if Rex had been there. It may have been shorter, but no less horrible.

"The others?", Cody asks. 

He's not sure what he means. He hope's Rex knows.

"Ahsoka's in hiding”, Rex says with finality, “The Vode that have gotten out are at home base, unless a mission comes up. There's fewer and fewer reports of vode in the Empire these days. Not sure how many are left to get out. We've got a list of known names and numbers of both confirmed dead and alive that you can see later."

Cody nods, "The Empire started phasing out clones and bringing in nat-borns. It was getting hard to have a fellow vod at a post, let alone in a squad."

He thinks of all the times he didn't realize what was happening. All the times the chip kept him from seeing what was right in front of him. Cody presses closer to Rex. They must look ridiculous, but he can't bring himself to care.

"The nat-borns they're bringing in aren't there by choice. At least not all of them", Rex says.

"Some may want to be there, the really crazy and die hards, but a majority of the grunts are slaves or conscripts. They do what they have to. Some drink the crazy juice, some hate what they’re made to do", Toph elaborates with a nod.

_ Well… that's not ok.. _

Cody sits up straight and so does Rex. They stay pressed together from shoulder to hip, under the table their legs are tangled together, but it's down to business now. Cody's found Rex and it's clear his vod isn't going to send him away.

_ Step one complete. _

_ Step two? _

"Did any other Jedi get out?" 

It hurts to ask, but he wants to know.

"I've heard a few were able to, but, other than Ahsoka, no names", Rex answers, "They're all in hiding, though, and can't afford to be found. We've got to make do where we can with what we have for now."

Cody accepts that, for now.

"How can I help?"

Rex gives him a sad yet proud smile. 

"You don't have to, Cody. You can go on your way. You don't have to keep fighting."

He understands why Rex is saying this. He's giving Cody an out if he really wants it. Cody appreciates it, but doesn't want it. If he'd wanted an out he'd have used the blaster at Maz's castle. Nevermind the fact that Cody doesn't belong anywhere else but with his people. Even if they didn't want him, where the Vode are, Cody will be there as well. He is Cody, Kote, of the Vode and he will be whatever he needs to be for his people.

_ I am of the Vode and we're warriors. We are strong and we stick together _ . 

"Like I'd leave and let you have all the fun", he chides, knocking his shoulder with Rex's.

"Yeah, whatever. You just wanna earn more of your name,  _ Kote _ ~"

Cody smirks and looks over at Toph and Izzy, both of whom have been quiet and watchful up to this point. Izzy looks like she's bursting at the seams to start talking and Toph has that same look of bored disinterest.

"Where're you two headed?", Rex asks them.

"Not too sure", Toph says mildly, "Heard from a source that someone on Alderaan was looking for a pilot for a transport mission. May take that."

Rex nods with a smile, "tell our good friend hello for me, hm?"

Cody’s fairly certain he knows who this good friend is. It brings a warm feeling to his heart. They still have friends from the war that are with them.

Toph gives a thumbs up, "What about you two?"

Rex and Cody glance at each other. Cody may be the older brother and former commander here, but this is definitely Rex's show. Rex takes a breath and looks back at their table mates. There's no need to ask if Cody's coming with him.

"Heard a rumor that there was a skirmish on Tatooine. Some hearsay claim that a lightsaber was involved. May go stop by base to pick up supplies then head out that way."

"Cant imagine there's a big rush on that one", Izzy says skeptically, "no real force user would be so stupid to get caught using their saber. Even in such an outside place like Tatooine."

Cody agrees with her there. He's also not too keen on meeting any other potential Jedi just yet. He's still not over the fact that he betrayed his Jedi.  _ Bones to be unburied… _

"Still something to keep on the radar", Rex says calmly. 

He turns to Cody with a smile. His eyes shining with unshed happy tears. Cody is so happy to be back with Rex. He wonders how long it will keep hitting him, this surprising happiness. The urge to lean over and kiss Rex is hard to resist.

"What do you say, Cody? Let's get home and you can see the others. Then we'll go from there?"

Cody wonders why Rex even bothers asking. He has to know the answer.

"Yeah", he agrees, "After that we'll see what needs to be done."

Rex grins at him and Cody feels another shred of tension bleed out of him. There’s a part of him that feels like it will always be missing a piece. Now that he’s back with Rex, at least Cody can finally start stitching himself back together, even if he feels like he won't ever be fully whole again. He's found Rex and soon he'll be on his way to where the rest of the Vode calls home.

After all that he has been through, all of the pain, it's time to keep moving.

Time to stay strong.

A new world, a new life, and a new home is waiting for him.

Cody does his best to lock away the sadness and lingering pain within himself. He vows to himself that he will work on getting stronger, to be worthy once again of the Vode. He does his level best not to acknowledge the feeling that something is missing, something is waiting. A feeling that is so familiar it almost sounds like a whisper in the dark.

_ "May the Force be with you, my dear. Always." _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...To Be Continued in Part 2- "I know My Kingdom Awaits"...


End file.
